Although I’m one of those cheerfully optimistic people who always looks at the bright side of life, I think we should ponder the possible psychological damage to this city if the Bulls happen to blow the National Basketball Association championship.
Not that I expect them to lose, since their 70 wins prove they are superior to all other basketball teams.
But there is a troubling precedent. In 1954, the Cleveland Indians set an American League record that still stands: 111 wins in the regular season. Yet they lost the World Series in four straight to the New York Giants. Most people forget or don’t know that until that year, Cleveland was bigger than New York and prettier than Paris. Now look at it.
Many years ago, the Chicago Cubs set the record for most regular-season wins. Then they blew the World Series to the Chicago White Sox.
Only last year, the San Antonio Spurs won more regular season games than anyone else, but were shamed in the Western Conference finals by the Houston Rockets.
So we must keep in mind what the great philosophers of the 1960s taught us: Doo-doo happens.
And who can be certain that it can’t happen to us?
Some of the experts say this is not the time for such thoughts. Professor Bernard Beck of Northwestern, who specializes in popular culture and sociology of the arts, said:
“Asking that question at this point is a violation of an unspoken rule on what is appropriate to talk about on different occasions.
“It’s like standing up at a wedding and saying: `What is it going to be like for you 30 years from now when she has wrinkles?’ “
It’s a coincidence that he mentioned that. At weddings of young people, I often say: “Hey, congrats to both of you. Of course, in 30 years, you’ll be bald and have a pot gut and gravity will have transformed her girlish figure into something shaped like a pear. But I know you’ll be happy.”
But Beck did concede that so devastating a loss “could become part of the legendary character of the city. I don’t think people want it to happen, but it would go down as a cosmic event in the city’s sacred history, even more than the ’69 Cubs folding.”
The ’69 Cubs? What about Mrs. O’Leary’s stupid cow and the Great Chicago Fire?
Dr. Robert Burton of Northwestern, who practices sports psychiatry, also said this is not a good time for such a negative inquiry.
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“At this stage, it’s pretty meaningless to talk about it. An infectious attitude is operating that we as fans have gained from Michael Jordan that everyone hates to lose at this point.”
But if they do lose?
“There will be shock and denial. Then the reality will sink in and there will be a period of depression. There will be resolution and people will move on, get on with their lives and put it back into perspective.”
Dan Barnes, a clinical psychologist at Loyola University-Chicago, said that if the Bulls blow it, “there could be an array of reactions. It’s all speculation, but someone could feel a little part of them had been lost–and that is a grief reaction. They could feel sadness, mourning.”
“Others may rationalize it. Our team was better, but we got cheated by the referees and the calls were terrible. Or a player was sick and had a bad knee. We didn’t lose. I/we have the same value. They can have denial of reality of the plight of the team versus a real sense of grief and loss.”
So how can people recover from such mental stress?
“In a grief reaction, an interpersonal relationship is always healing. A relationship or having someone who cares about you gives you a soothing, comforting response.”
Ah, bless the bartenders.
Finally, I talked to my personal consultant, Dr. I.M. Kookie, the noted expert on lots of stuff.
“Sure, like these other fellows said, when something awful happens, there can be denial. But you got to be careful with denial. You go denying they lost to Cicero Tony, the big bookie, and he’ll beat your shins with a baseball bat until you are cured of denial.
“See, one of the big problems with some fans is what we call transference. You place characteristics of important people from your childhood on people you don’t really know. We react to them as we would important figures in our childhood. Parents, father figures, that kind of stuff.”
You mean it’s like my favorite crazy aunt who wore the same kind of clothes and had the same color hair as Dennis Rodman? Is that why I think of him as Auntie Dennis?
“Yes, but he’s not your aunt.”
Don’t say that, I’m crushed.
“Then you got real thought disorders, delusions. Like if Joe Glotz the fan thinks he’s great because the Bulls won, that there’s some connection between his life and the Bulls, and when they win or lose, it is aimed at him.”
Then he’s crazy, because when the Bulls win, I’m the one who’s great, not this Joe Glotz. Who does he think he is, anyway, my Auntie Dennis? And another thing, Jordan is a Mike and I’m a Mike. You ever notice that? Of course, my vertical leap isn’t what it used to be.
“But don’t worry. If they lose, your grief will pass and you’ll get on with your life.”
Of course, I know that. But just in case, do you have Doc Kevorkian’s phone number?