Most businessmen aren’t fond of the federal agency known as OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.
It’s OSHA’s job to make sure that people have safe working conditions. Which is good.
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But businesses say that OSHA’s bureaucrats sometimes get carried away and bombard them with silly paperwork.
A small Northwest Side manufacturer recently received a set of instructions from OSHA on how to safely handle a certain type of fluid.
It is known as a MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheet), and the owner of the company said: “Thought you might enjoy seeing this. Having dealt recently with the rather overzealous characters at OSHA, it does not surprise me that there is a MSDS for water.”
That’s right: water, the stuff that comes out of the kitchen faucet, the shower, and flushes down the toilet.
Space doesn’t permit me to print the entire OSHA guideline for water. And some of it was such technical gibberish that only the most dedicated water freak could possibly appreciate it.
But here are some of the highlights.
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MSDS for Water
Product name: Water
Formula: H2O
Formula Wt: 18.00
Cas No.: 07732-18-5
Niosh/rtecs No.: ZC0110000
Common Synonyms: Dihydrogen Oxide
Product Codes: 4218,4219
Effective: 05/30/86
Revision 01
Baker Saf-T-Data (TM) System:
Health – 0 None
Flammability – 0 None
Reactivity – 1 Slight
Contact – 0 None
Hazard Ratings are 0 TO 4 (0 = No Hazard; 4 = Extreme Hazard)
Laboratory Protective Equipment: Safety Glasses; Lab Coat
Storage: Keep in tightly closed container
Physical Data:
Boiling Point: 100 C (212 F)
Vapor Pressure(MM HG): 17.5
Melting Point: 0 C (32 F)
Vapor Density (Air=1): N/A
Specific Gravity: 1.00
Evaporation Rate: N/A
Appearance & Odor: Odorless, clear colorless liquid
Fire and Explosion Hazard Data: Flash Point (Closed Cup) N/A
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Flammable Limits: Upper – N/A; Lower – N/A
Fire Extinguishing Media: Use extinguishing media appropriate for surrounding fire.
Health Hazard Data:
Effects of Overexposure: No effects of overexposure were documented.
Target Organs: None Identified
Medical conditions generally aggravated by exposure: None identified
Reactivity Data:
Stability: Stable
Hazardous Polymerization: Will not occur
Conditions to Avoid: None documented
Spill and Disposal Procedures: Dispose in accordance with all applicable federal, state and local environmental regulations.
Respiratory Protection: None Required
Special Precautions: Keep container tightly closed. Suitable for any general chemical storage area.
Water is considered a non-regulated product, but may react vigorously with some specific materials. Avoid contact with all materials until investigation shows substance is compatible. Protect from freezing.
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There was much more, twice as long, including information on how to transport water. You simply transport it, as any restaurant bus boy could tell them, although the bureaucrats made it sound like a major project.
But I have noticed a few flaws in OSHA’s guidelines.
For example, under Health Hazard Data, the bureaucrats said: “Effects of Overexposure: No effects of overexposure were documented.”
Well, these bureaucrats must lead sheltered lives. Obviously, they’ve never been around when the cops pull what is known as a “floater” out of the Chicago River or Lake Michigan.
A floater is someone who jumped, was pushed or stumbled into the water and was “overexposed” for a few hours, days or weeks. I’ve seen it, and the effects of “overexposure” are not something you want to chat about over breakfast.
And the bureaucrats also said: “Conditions to Avoid: None documented.”
Nonsense. Among the conditions to avoid are these: Don’t make the potentially deadly mistake of stepping into a cold shower when you expect the water to be warm.
And you don’t mix water with gin, vodka, rum, beer, wine and many other beverages, although it’s permissible and even advisable with bourbon, scotch, or (this is open to debate) fine Irish whiskey.
The owner of that small company also said: “We have even received MSDS’ for `Hand Cleaner’ used in our shop.”
See? There was a time when people knew how to use soap and water to wash their hands when they went to the washroom.
Now the federal government gives us guidelines.
We’ve come a long way, booby.
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