Approaching perpetual prominence, the Bulls nevertheless keep sending messages to opponents, a custom that borders on the excessive, like painting an elephant orange so it will be noticed.
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The Bulls are to subtlety what Madonna is to modesty.
The other night the easily tweakable Pat Riley, now of Miami, seemed a bit miffed that the Bulls thought they needed to make a statement to his group of basketball defectives, which, as far as I can tell, was, Don’t Even Think About It.
It is not clear if Riley got the actual message, but he did know that one was intended, as did the Knicks a couple weeks ago and as will Orlando Sunday.
Every team the Bulls play knows the Bulls have a special agenda, and they shouldn’t have to wait until the postgame room to find out what it was.
To avoid confusion, it might be useful for the Bulls to make their messages into a nice wall sampler to be sent ahead and hung over an opponent’s urinal or some equally thoughtful place. There are many choices.
Who’s Kidding Who? Why Bother? Think Again. Really, Now.
My personal favorite is Don’t Make Me Laugh. I would save that one for Cleveland.
The point is, to the Bulls, a game without a message is calisthenics.
Maybe a team that is about to win more regular-season games than any other in the history of the NBA should not need constant reaffirmation of its greatness.
But these little mini-bouts with motivation are largely the reason the Bulls are chasing history instead of, as was entirely possible, the Orlando Magic or the Indiana Pacers, presumed heirs of the post-Jordan era.
The most impressive thing about the Bulls’ remarkable run is that they have managed to stay interested. A lot of this is also due to Jordan, of course, who seems consumed to disprove doubts that were never more than hints.
Jordan races past his own imagined messages as if they were those old Burma Shave signs on the road to even greater glory.
Too Old? Too Late? In Your Face, Fickle Fate.
If Jordan is not the Most Valuable Player, the whole season is a farce. What am I saying? Jordan was the NBA’s MVP even when he was a minor-league outfielder.
The Bulls are the last team to need loud introductions. By the time the playoffs start, a nice change might be to just sort of show up, hold their fingers to their lips and nod knowingly.
Orlando knows the Bulls are coming Sunday, as did Miami and Charlotte and the New York Knicks, as has every team on the diminishing season schedule and about time too.
The end is near enough to have an aroma, like wood smoke from a campfire.
Until then, it is not enough for the Bulls to win. The other team must know that that is how it will always be, whenever, wherever and whatever the reason.
For Sunday’s final caucus with the team from suburban Disney World, the message is, Not Twice, You Don’t.
Orlando has beaten the Bulls once, which is–in strictly message limits–enough for any one team. The sub-message is even more wicked. If Orlando cannot win more than once, it is no better than Denver or Toronto.
The Bulls already used this Not Twice slogan with the Knicks and the Pacers, and will again. A good message is versatile.
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Orlando should be special enough to deserve its own message, but not to the point where it has to be carved into Dennis Rodman’s head or anything.
Maybe in the Eastern Conference finals.