In “Bodyguard,” Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston fell in love, and the race issue was never even mentioned. Maybe when someone is trying to kill you, it’s not all that important. But in the real world, race, religion and culture can play a part in relationships. Here’s what you had to say:
– Nina: “When Brad and I stated dating, his mother was angry. I am a Japanaese-Chinese-American and Brad is caucasian. She wrote him letters trying to reason with him. When that didn’t work, she threatened him. He was just starting his first year of medical school, and his parents were going to help him out financially. If he didn’t break up with me, his mother said she would cut him off. He didn’t, so she did. When we got engaged, he went to her house to tell her, but she refused to answer the door. He ended up writing her a note and taping it to the front door. We have been married for six years now, and he has not spoken to his mother in seven, although he is still in touch with his father, brother and sister.”
– Marisol: “I am a Filipino-American woman born and raised in Chicago. When I met Aaron, at school, it was magic. I’ve never been happier. I’m Roman Catholic and he’s Jewish. Can you believe we have never fought or argued about our religion? I respect his faith and he respects mine. As far as our racial differences, Aaron looks at me for the inside, not what appears on the outside. The same goes for me. Every day we fall more and more in love.”
– Penny: “While I was going to college in Indiana, I dated a guy from Cyprus. He stood out from the mundane frat fare, taught me romantic Greek phrases and cooked some great Mediterranean dishes. But his fellow Cypriots on campus were a tight clique, and they were very hostile to me, often going out of their way to speak nothing but Greek, even though their English was fluent. Sex was another point of conflict. It seems sexual equality in the bedroom was a foreign concept to him. He said it was beneath his god-like heritiage. Zeus was his mentor.”
– Oliver: “We met at college in the early 1950s. Like me, she was a teacher. To me, she was attractive, intelligent, personable, etc. Both of us were first-generation Americans. However, she was a Christian and I had an Orthodox Jewish background. Our interests developed into thoughts of marriage. We agreed to a civil wedding and decided if we were blessed with children, their religious nurturing would be done by her. It all fell apart when her family insisted the wedding take place in the family church. That would not have bothered me, but my family would have felt rejected. I ultimately married a Jewish woman.”
– Leslie: “I dated a Czech man last year. He lived in a small Bohemian town where I was teaching English to medical students. David was one of my students. He followed me, wrote me poetry, accompanied me to the market. I didn’t mean to start dating him. It violated all my principles and some NATO agreement, too, I was sure. I searched for reasons why I shouldn’t go out with this attractive, brilliant, athletic, hilarious guy. Finally, I ran out of excuses and we began to date. “When the weather got nice, I got wanderlust. David didn’t have any money or time to travel, so I started taking longer and longer trips with Americans. I started dating another guy, and I broke David’s heart. Perhaps I did this more consciously than I realized in order to make a clean break when my year was up. And now I miss him.”
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How do you feel about prenuptial agreements? Send your tale to Cheryl Lavin, Tales from the front, baiduhai, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill., 60611. Please include day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part for any purpose and become property of the column.