Not even Jimmy Johnson can straighten out a hairy situation. This legend announced over the weekend that his sabbatical from coaching shall continue indefinitely, that he will remain just another pretty face on television.
His message is that we should relax now, but we can’t. Johnson can kill a can of spray just like that, but not the suspense. Has the NFL ever enjoyed a zanier season? If the league has a sense of theatrics, Pete Rozelle tosses out the first jar of Valium at Super Bowl XXIX. The former commissioner was for parity, and in its 75th year, the NFL is practicing what he preached.
Say what you will about pro football, 1994. It is an industry with a salary cap that players wear begrudgingly. The sport is the only one in which crucial calls are whistled by high school principals who moonlight on weekends. The favorite flavor is so overwhelmingly vanilla, a dozen teams could trade jerseys and nobody would know the difference.
But it works. Purists who feared for the integrity of baseball when the playoffs were expanded to include wild-card teams, take note. If fans still care when baseball resumes, there will be a greater supply of contenders to satisfy the demand. With two weeks to go in the regular NFL schedule, a record 22 teams were eligible for the Super Bowl. This final week, more than half the league’s teams still can fantasize that they can go further than the 49ers.
Unlike two winters ago, when none of the three major markets were involved, the TV networks now have New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Jimmy Johnson, too. For every dropout such as Houston, there is a New England. Saturday will be a good day to walk your dog in the streets of Boston. The Patriots are coming here for their biggest game since Super Bowl XX. This one has to be closer.
And, yes, it’s OK to become excited about the Bears if you haven’t already. They are a legitimate surprise and surprisingly legitimate. Last week, after a cheese binge following the Bears’ devastating 40-3 defeat in Green Bay, we suggested a 10-6 record and first place in the NFC Central still were reasonable conclusions. This week, we’ll say it again and blame it on egg nog.
It would be only fitting and proper if this Bears bunch that needs so many introductions earns a division title before it earns respect. On the Bears of the mid-80s, even the ballboys were famous. That was America’s Team. This is Cook County’s.
These Bears might be able to get arrested, but they can’t get booked. Say hello to Athletes Anonymous. Beyond the limits of the country’s most devoted football city, the Bears need name tags.
Nobody’s good enough for the Pro Bowl. And the winner for coach of the year is . . . George Seifert? Bill Parcells? Bill Cowher? That will be the coup de grace, if Dave Wannstedt comes up short, too. He’s only a coach, not a character, and his team reflects his personality. Just work, baby.
It’s dull, but it’s efficient, and here’s the real problem for voters. Wannstedt has yet to be nominated as a genius. It’s a label he can refuse. He and his assistants actually admit to mistakes on occasion. That will never fly.
This staff needs some arrogance. Just like Wannstedt needs a general manager to evaluate talent. Remember that one, when the peanut gallery developed a severe case of panic in September?
It’s gotten so out of hand that we come to praise Michael McCaskey, too. His dismissal of Mike Ditka lacked the dignity Ditka showed in response to his firing. Ask Wannstedt about that. Still, McCaskey recruited the hottest assistant in the business and brought him to Chicago, but not Waukegan. The program has been revived, win or lose Saturday.
And either way, it’s wait until Sunday or Monday for playoff pairings. Did you really think you’d have the Bears for Christmas?