For a change, the Bears were exciting, amusing and unpredictable Thursday night.
That’s dangerous territory for a football team whose limitations are limitless, and it cost the Bears a 33-27 overtime defeat to the Minnesota Vikings.
The Bears can be first without being famous. Bland is beautiful. But Thursday night, they weren’t either. Perhaps it was a desperate opponent luring the Bears into erroneous zones. Whatever, they made too many mistakes, the worst of which was engaging the Vikings in a battle of last possession wins.
Let’s face it. The Bears are best when they’re boring. You give the Bears 22 minutes, they’ll give you time to duck out to the kitchen without missing too much. You can have a sandwich, and when you return, they’ll probably still have the ball.
Thursday night, however, was not one of those nights.
As December descends upon the NFL, the league packs all the excitement of that Chinese swimming scandal. After Week 12, there were 15 teams-including Minnesota-with records between 7-5 and 5-7, and eight of those juggernauts are at .500. You can book it that a couple of 8-8 teams will qualify for the playoffs and be proud of it.
But this should be just perfect for the Bears, whose secret franchise agenda is to go to the Super Bowl without sending any players to the Pro Bowl. This is Lunchpail A.C. The Monotones of the Midway. The Bears should be televised exclusively by C-SPAN. Heart patients have another choice now besides bypass surgery: season tickets to Soldier Field.
When the Bears are bad, they’re very bad. But they aren’t bad as often as they’re good and they’re almost never in between. Before Thursday night, they’d lost four games by a total of 68 points and won eight by a total of only 71. Talk about picking your spots. Still, just five franchises in the NFL had better records than the Bears, and two of them-Dallas and San Francisco-are already enshrined as dynasties.
But the Cowboys and 49ers are highlight films. When the Bears are on their game, they’re a documentary. They’re all about efficiency and execution, and that’s why they trailed 13-7 at halftime. Not tedious enough. Steve Walsh, on his 28th birthday, opened by completing two passes to Marv Cook. But when Walsh came up throwing again and looking for Jeff Graham, the Vikings’ Dewayne Washington intercepted and ran it back 54 yards for a touchdown.
The Bears figured they had to match fire with fire, always a danger. Walsh completed a pass of 5 or so yards to Robert Green, who could have accepted the inevitable. But, no, he cut through the Vikings like an alderman goes through an expense account. About six missed tackles later, he was in for a tying touchdown. It was 7-7, and the Minnesota offense, such as it is, hadn’t yet been on the field.
That’s pretty lively stuff, but of more concern were two bobbled snaps by a jumpy Walsh. One of Walsh’s fumbles led to a Vikings field goal. Graham more than atoned by returning a Minnesota punt for a go-ahead touchdown early in the third quarter, but that’s trouble. The Bears had earned first place in the NFC Central. It’s ESPN SportsCenter that doesn’t know them.
Of course, just when the Bears threaten to become more sizzle than steak, they catch themselves. They didn’t get here by being fancy. They got here because they’re functional. So it was, amidst all Thursday night’s hysteria, the Bears got Walsh a turnover and turned it into a touchdown for a 24-16 lead. Then the Vikings’ return drive for a touchdown became a field-goal gesture because John Mangum tackled Amp Lee the way it’s supposed to be done.
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But the Bears just wouldn’t allow the Vikings to excuse themselves from the NFC Central race. Being kind and gentle does not become the Bears. Time for them to return to basics. The basics of being boring.