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Unlike the big-league players, I have returned from my vacation and am eager to negotiate with whomever, Don Fehr of the players association or Dick Ravitch, who represents the owners.

Both are back on the so-called mainland, Fehr after a whirlwind nine-city working tour that included three pit stops in Latin America, briefing and updating his players about the greedy owners who want to put a cap on their salaries.

Ravitch and his wife, Betsy, a former movie critic, were on holiday in London. They took in several shows and also trooped to the British Museum and lunched at the foot of Nelson’s Column.

I digress. This isn’t the travel section. The principal business here is big-league baseball. It may be necessary to refresh your memory. It’s a game played with a bat and a ball, 90 feet between the bases, nine or 10 to a side, depending on whether the lineup includes a designated hitter.

On Aug. 12, when the players went on strike, they repeatedly expressed the belief it would be like one of those two-week Israeli wars. But the owners have refused to collapse. Tuesday was the 68th day. Sadly, peace is not at hand.

But there has been a bit of news. President Clinton entered the fray last Friday with the announcement he is sending in one of his top men, W.J. Usery Jr., to act as a mediator.

When I first heard the news, at Al Johnson’s restaurant in Sister Bay, Wis., I was reminded of what John Gaherin said about mediators. This was 20 years ago when he was the owners’ chief negotiator, Marvin Miller’s opposite number.

Said Gaherin: “That and five cents will get you a glass of beer.”

The price of beer has gone up but there hasn’t been any change in the role of a mediator. All he does is open the door. No, he does more than that. He says, “Gentlemen, take your seats.”

The mediator doesn’t make a deal. He doesn’t bang heads. Nor does he throw the key away. Also, he is not a referee. He doesn’t call fouls or penalize five yards for offside. All he can do is listen.

“He better not try to cut the baby in half,” a militant National League owner said.

A settlement can be achieved only by the warring parties. And at this point they seem to be as far apart as ever, maybe even further if Fehr was quoted correctly after his regional player meeting in Puerto Rico.

According to the television, Fehr said, “Never, never will the players accept a salary cap.”

It has been my experience, on and off the field, that you never say never. But Fehr is entitled to his opinion.

Sources familiar with the inner workings of the players association report the union is unhappy with the appointment of a super-mediator. The owners don’t like it either but as one mogul observed, “We’re going along out of respect for President Clinton.”

Whatever, both sides are expected to meet with Usery, a former U.S. secretary of labor, on Wednesday in Washington.

Some years ago, during another of baseball’s stoppages, I had occasion to witness Raymond Donovan in action. Donovan, another former labor secretary, attended a negotiation session at the Doral Inn in New York.

The only thing I remember is that Donovan stormed away in a huff. He was accompanied by a platoon of bodyguards. When the press horde tried to stop him in the hotel lobby for some routine Q & A, Donovan not only refused to stop but in the crush stepped on a fallen television soundman.

In the meantime, some of the striking players are learning the facts of life. Four players who last week filed for free agency on the premise that they had completed the six-year eligibility requirement were informed they didn’t qualify.

Jack McDowell, the star White Sox pitcher, was among them. Like the others, McDowell discovered he is 19 days short because he will not be given credit for the 52 days of the strike, from Aug. 12 to the end of the regular season.

In the past, when settlement was reached, the owners awarded all the players with service time while they were on strike. I doubt they will be as beneficent this time around.

“It’s their strike and they’re going to have pay for it,” said a high echelon administrator.

Mr. Usery will discover there is more than money at stake. It has evolved into a classic power struggle as to who runs the game, the union or the owners. I wish him good fortune and when he does leave I hope I’m not trampled as he hurries for the door.