My fellow farmers, the magic number is 1995. That’s when we won’t have to apologize for Big 10 football anymore.
Just after New Year’s Day, Penn State is going to arrive at the Rose Bowl, and it will be like nothing they’ve ever seen out there on the Left Coast.
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Mind you, teams from the Midwest have planted a few seeds lately. Michigan actually scored 38 points at Pasadena in 1993 and won. Then last January, the Wisconsin Badgers and their fans said cheese to the entire state of California before leaving triumphantly.
But in the next granddaddy of them all, Penn State’s Nittany Lions just might might inflict the mother of all thrashings. They’ll hit the ground running, passing and scoring, as they did Saturday while outlasting the Wolverines 31-24 at Michigan Stadium.
If you’re the Pac-10 Conference, are you worthy? Better yet, are you ready?
Probably not. For too long, the surfers have regarded the Rose Bowl as their day at the beach. The Big 10 sends its champions from the Snowbelt to the sand dunes, grunting and sniffling, the only American males slower than the U.S. mail. They lose, they go to Disneyland, they go home. Wait till next year, and we’ll ship out more sparring partners.
But that era is ended. Penn State didn’t just win here Saturday, it staged a hostile takeover of this alleged chamber of horrors called “the Big House.” The Nittany Lions couldn’t have looked more at home in a place they had never before visited. Obviously, they not only want to win the Big 10. They want to win the country, which is possible with Florida losing and Nebraska hurting.
Michigan’s objectives have been questioned more than once, but the Wolverines needn’t worry now about being No. 1 locally or nationally. They have amassed 50 points in their last two games here and have lost both. Saturday’s game program contained a picture of coach Gary Moeller driving a truck. One company’s advertisement might be another man’s future.
“It was embarrassing,” Moeller said of the manner in which Penn State moved the ball. He also could have blushed about the Wolverines’ fire drill of an ending. Good field position, two cracks at a first down, but where’s Tyrone Wheatley? It was his brilliant touchdowns-one on speed, another on sinew-that brought Michigan a lead that seemed unlikely after Penn State’s 16-0 jump-start.
What in the name of Bo Schembechler was going on here? What are they growing down there on the farm? That’s for the Pac-10 to ponder. Its best two teams, Arizona and Washington State, can’t score. Meanwhile, back in the Cornbelt, they’re still teaching reading, writing and ‘rithmetic, but not much defense. Quarterback Kerry Collins threw for 231 yards, yet was overshadowed by teammate Ki-Jana Carter, who ran for 165.
“I can’t believe we won,” Carter said. It’s hard to imagine Penn State didn’t win by more. But this is life in the fleet new Big 10, where the two-touchdown deficit that would once have been death for Michigan is now erased by a mere midgame correction. If what you want is 3 yards and a cloud of sawdust, catch the Bears at Soldier Field. If show biz is your choice, try Penn State against anybody.
Saturday’s 3 1/2-hour track meet featured almost 900 yards combined total offense and was all you need to know about why a postseason playoff is unnecessary. Penn State, a terrific expansion team, can leave Pasadena as the first Big 10 national champion since 1968. And if you can remember when the Big 10 last won three consecutive Rose Bowls, you can also remember the last World Series in Chicago, 1959.
But the magic number is 1995. We can wear our flannel underwear, park our tractors outside the Rose Bowl, smile around the corn in our teeth, watch this marvelous Penn State machine make some hay and party till the cows come home. We’ll leave a light on for you.