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The Kentucky Derby is high in cholesterol and saturated fats. Anybody who has been within a bourbon bottle of the place knows it.

With that in mind, here is the sure-fire board for Saturday evening:

1. Blumin Affair

2. Tabasco Cat

3. Valiant Nature

We have Valiant Nature, owned by Verne Winchell, who amassed his wealth on hard work and . . . doughnuts. We have Tabasco Cat, half-owned by W.T. Young, who amassed his wealth on hard work and . . . peanut butter. We have Blumin Affair, half-owned by Art Vogel, who amassed his wealth on hard work and . . . popcorn.