The stock market is headed down.
The trade war with Japan is heating up.
Revolution may be brewing in post-NAFTA Mexico.
Out-of-towners have grabbed Continental Bank and are going after Kemper Insurance.
With so much to worry about this spring, I was afraid Opening Day would never get here.
No, not that Opening Day.
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I won’t be among the 40,000 at Wrigley Field Monday, cheering when First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton and speedskater Bonnie Blair jointly throw out the first ball. (How’s that going to work, anyway?)
My home opener was/is this Saturday and Sunday, when my neighborhood nine takes on the Indiana Hoosiers.
That’s right, college baseball. Don’t laugh.
Go ahead and worship your sullen millionaires who can’t bunt. Go ahead and fight traffic to your massive green cathedrals so you can sing with Harry Caray or watch the exploding scoreboard.
I used to do it, too. Then I found a better way to feed the cursed baseball habit.
This being a business column, consider just the monetary advantages of following the amateurs of spring rather than the pros of summer. As a fan of college (or high school) baseball, you are entitled to the following:
– Free parking. Just be sure to pick a spot far enough from the diamond so your hood won’t be dented by a foul ball.
– Low ticket prices. Compare $4 adults/$2 children-this year’s tariff at Northwestern-to the $18 they get for a lower-deck box seat at the new Comiskey Park. From there you couldn’t reach home plate with a relay man. From my seat, when you yell at the ump, he turns and gives you a dirty look.
– Reasonably priced concessions. At NU the lineup sheets come free with admission. While the lukewarm bratwursts sold at the Pepsi trailer cost $3, they feed two. My daughter, Ronnie, takes the sausage and gives me the bun.
– Compact season. Because conference teams play a pair of seven-inning double-headers every weekend, Big 10 competition is over by Memorial Day. This frees summer weekends for other pursuits, such as mowing the lawn and playing golf.
There are downsides to college baseball, of course.
The worst is the weather. Most years there’s no such thing as springtime hereabouts, unless you count the 48 hours between snowmelt and the first 90-degree day of late May. The wet chills can be overcome, however, with the use of a portable seat cushion, a large golf umbrella and a serious wool hat. Baseball caps are best saved for mowing the lawn and playing golf.
Then there are those who don’t like the “plinking” sound made by the aluminum bats used in college and high school. As Washington Post columnist David Broder sniffed last week, there is nothing like “the unmistakable `thwack’ of ash against horsehide.”
Somebody needs to tell Mr. Broder they don’t make baseballs out of horsehide anymore. The last Wilson “Official” I returned to the dugout (you don’t get to keep them at college games) was made in China and encased in cowhide.
The NCAA ball also weighs the exact same 5 ounces as the big-league version; measures the same 2.9 inches in diameter; and has the same 216-stitch raised seam.
No, the important differences between big-league and amateur baseball have little to do with dimensions, aluminum bats or seven-inning games. It’s what you want from a day at the ballpark.
If it’s instant replays on a video scoreboard and postgame validation on the 10 o’clock news, college baseball definitely is not for you.
But if it’s the up-close and nitty-gritty you crave, the roller coaster of streaks and slumps, the wide-eyed hustle of kids who don’t have business agents, check out amateur baseball.
Some of the nation’s best teams play right here in the Chicago area, rotten weather notwithstanding. Small colleges and junior colleges, such as North Central, Lewis, St. Francis, Triton and College of DuPage, field quality teams, as do powerhouse high schools such as Clemente, Oak Forest and Oak Park.
U. of I. at Chicago is always competitive and plays on a field so close to the Loop that Sears Tower seems a part of the center-field fence.
As for my beloveds, I’ll know more by Sunday night. My hunch is we need one more starting pitcher. Maybe two.
But hey, so do the Cubs.