In an effort for balance and to give both Chicago teams equal circus time, I put in a call to Bozo the Clown, the WGN television star.
Al Hall, producer of the Bozo show, answered the phone and said Joey D’Auria, alias Bozo, had gone home but would be returning to the WGN studios after lunch.
More Top Picks Best Motion Sensor Night Lights For Hallways
“We rehearse every afternoon,” Hall said.
I explained the purpose of the call. In an another week or two, Michael Jordan would be joining the cross-town White Sox in spring training. A media carnival is inevitable.
Has Bozo ever played baseball?
“He doesn’t know anything about sports,” Hall replied. “The last sport he played was tiddlywinks in the 2nd grade. I don’t think he has any athletic ability at all.”
Hall reconsidered.
“I don’t suppose that makes any difference. Maybe the Cubs could use him. Anyway, they need some publicity. It’s as if the Cubs aren’t even in town.”
My thoughts exactly.
“The way things are going, a lot of players who barely hit .200 are making big money. If he gets a $5 million contract, could I be his agent?”
Of course. But first would he ask Bozo to give me a call?
“Sure, no problem.”
Within the hour, D’Auria was on the line. D’Auria has been in the Bozo clown suit for the last 10 years.
“Basically, I’d be flattered to join the Cubs,” he said. “It’s not a bad idea. But I never played much ball. I was usually the last guy picked on a team. I can’t swing a bat or throw a ball.”
Didn’t you ever play 16-inch softball? Every Chicago boy played softball, even the class clown.
“I’m sorry about that,” he answered. “But I grew up in New York, in Westchester County.”
Desperate, I turned to Jake Fendley, director of sports sales for WGN-TV. I have known Jake for many years. He was a star basketball player at South Shore High School and later played at Northwestern and put in three seasons as a pro with the Ft. Wayne Zollners.
I told him that, as I recall, he was an all-around athlete.
“I was,” he conceded. “When I was at South Shore we weren’t encouraged to play more than one sport. And, of course, basketball was my game. But I did swim for South Shore, briefly, and broke the school 100-yard freestyle record. And I went out for the track team and set a city shot-put record.”
I remembered he was also a good football player.
“I wasn’t bad,” Jake recalled. “The football coach once asked me to scrimmage with the team, and I ran 85 yards for a touchdown.
“But that was a long time ago. I’m 64. All I play now is gin rummy.”
I explained the Cubs need help. Did he have any suggestions?
“Try Jim Dowdle,” Jake said. “He played basketball at Loyola Academy, a big guy, a 6-5 center. He made All-Catholic League. And I think he was a second- or third-team All-American at Notre Dame. You ought to try him.”
More Top Picks Best Soaker Hoses
I did.
Dowdle is president and chief operating officer of Tribune Broadcasting, which has more than a passing interest in the Cubs. I was told he hadn’t been in the office for several days.
It didn’t take a genius to discover Dowdle’s whereabouts.
He was at Wrigley Field, taking batting practice. Harry Caray has been pitching to him.