Susan Williams has moved 15 times in 11 years, including one move overseas.
Marjorie Parker has made eight moves in 15 years.
Katie McCullough called six houses home in eight years.
So many moves in a relatively short time. It’s a prospect that might strike terror in the hearts of those who’ve made just a couple of moves and have some stressful stories to tell about the experiences.
“But there are pluses as well as minuses to moving around,” says Williams. People who move a lot have to learn to cope and adjust.
“I’ve become more outgoing,” says Williams, who currently resides in Memphis. “Moving so much has made me more open.”
The most recent U.S. Census Bureau report shows Americans are making fewer moves across state lines. Only 2.9 percent of Americans moved from one state to another in 1991, down from 3.3 percent the year before.
But 17 percent of Americans did change their addresses in 1991-and had to deal not only with the packing and unpacking but often the adjustment to a new way of life.
Military maneuvers
Most of Williams’ moves were brought about by the military service of her husband, Dr. Stuart Williams, a former Army doctor. The Williamses moved to Memphis last June, and, after an association with the University of Tennessee at Memphis, he recently entered a family practice. They had one tour of duty in Italy, but mainly have lived in the South, Wyoming, New Mexico and Ohio.
“One of the pluses in moving a lot is that you meet some fantastic people,” says Susan Williams. “Our Christmas-card list is ridiculous.”
But a minus is losing those friends. “Your support system is not like everybody else’s,” she adds. “There are stresses when you move and lose your family and friends. You have to find a cell group, a niche where you fit in. It’s a slow process.”
The first thing the Williamses have always done is find a church in which to become active.
You also think of simplifying your life when you move a lot, she says. “We have some antiques that are really showing their bruises. You realize how much you acquire and begin to put things in the right perspective.”
Parker and her husband, Capt. Joseph Parker, commanding officer of Naval Air Technical Training at the Memphis Naval Air Station, have moved back and forth across the country, including three times to California and once to Hawaii.
Leaving friends behind
“It’s particularly tough to leave friends and a house you’ve been fond of,” she says. “It’s harder for me than my husband, because I get more attached to a house.”
One of the worst parts of moving is the uncertainties, she says. “You think, `Will I be happy? Will I be able to find my way around?’ It’s a stressful time.”
She advises newcomers to get involved in the community. “People aren’t going to beat a path to your door and say, `Let’s be friends.’ ” She and her husband have made friends through the civilian Navy League and are in three bridge groups.
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McCullough and her husband, Bill, moved to Memphis four years ago from Rye, N.Y., where she grew up. He’s an executive with International Paper, and the company moved them around-to California, Louisiana, New York, Memphis.
“We had been back in Rye for 13 years, and never dreamed we would move again,” she says. “My first reaction was, `You can’t do this to me. I like my life.’ “
This move, however, came when the McCulloughs’ three children were no longer youngsters in school; they have homes elsewhere. “When they were young, one of the hardest things about moving was finding schools and making sure they were happy,” she says.
Probably the most difficult thing is getting to know people well.
“The older you get, the harder it is,” she says. “You don’t make close friends as easily because you don’t have the history. It takes a long time to make the kind of friend you can call and say, `Hey, I’ve had a rotten day.’
Getting acquainted
“When you meet someone you think you’d like to know, you have to pick up the phone and call them. People who have lived in a town for many years don’t need you. But they’re flattered when you invite them to something.”
McCullough was involved with the Westchester Classic golf tournament when they lived in Rye and became a volunteer with the Federal Express/St. Jude Classic in Memphis. A new acquaintance asked her to join the board of the Memphis Museums System, of which she is now president.
With all their experience, the frequent movers have picked up many tips on moving. In their particular cases, the company or the military did the packing and moving.
But the Williamses rented a trailer three weeks before they relocated and stayed outside the city, “near nature,” as she says. They’d drive in to scout neighborhoods. They decided to rent a house initially instead of buying one. “People are often pressured to buy, but I’d encourage them not to rush into anything.”
When the McCulloughs were moving around a lot, they’d get the new town’s newspapers a few months before they moved and start looking through ads for real estate people who handled the kind of houses they might be interested in. “We lucked out every time,” she says.
“Get organized so you’ll be ready when the professional packers come in and start moving so fast,” adds Parker. “And watch the movers or get someone to watch them.”
When some friends of the Parkers were moving to Japan, the movers packed a whole roast in a pan. “Can you imagine a six-week-old rancid roast?”
Movers almost shipped a load of dirty diapers when the McCulloughs were moving to California.
“I was doing my last load of wash and went to put it in the washer and discovered it was gone,” she says. “I made the movers unpack everything.”
“I always hand-carry things that are irreplaceable,” adds Parker.
Williams carries silver, jewelry and other valuables in a train case. Her advice: “Clean out your drawers and closets before you move. If it doesn’t get done then, things will pile up on you.”