– Going, going, gone: If it sounds like an auction, looks like an auction, and acts like an auction, let’s call this week’s opening of free agency in the NFL an auction. In fact, why not make it official? The eligible, unrestricted players-Jim Harbaugh, Steve Beuerlein, etc.-could gather for a one-day, highest-bidder-takes-all sale in, say, Peoria, Ill., where one of the largest livestock auction houses in the Midwest is located. “Sure, we’d be happy to have something like that here,” said Les Leach, general manager of the Peoria Union Stockyards. “You could bring in all the owners. If they want ’em, they bid for ’em just what they want to pay. On the spot. We’d hire the auctioneers.” WGN radio livestock expert Orion Samuelson might be available to handle quotes. The auction could be on a weekend. Leach says the schedule’s pretty heavy during the week. “We do hogs five days a week, cattle on Monday, sheep and feeder pigs on Tuesday, too,” he said. “We do some special auctions for FFA (Future Farmers of America), schools, charities, that sort of thing.” Leach sees some fallout, however, “If you did it this way, you’d probably put a lot of lawyers out of work.” Hmmm.
– Voice in the wilderness: Announcers like Harry Caray, Ken Harrelson, Red Kerr, Wayne Larrivee, Tom Paciorek and Dale Tallon get the glory. For pure perseverance in the profession, it would be difficult to top Howard Balson. He has been Chicago’s No. 1 soccer voice since doing the first Sting game May 2, 1975. Balson will do his 1,000th broadcast of a soccer game Saturday when the Power plays at Cleveland. You may not be that familiar with Howard’s work, considering many pro soccer games in Chicagoland have been aired on radio stations with small beams. The Cleveland contest, for instance, is on WKKD-FM (95.9). The TV games usually were found somewhere on the old UHF dial, delayed, on cable, or, on one occasion, on Channel 11. Balson was there to describe Willy Roy kicking in a goal for the Sting in its first season, made the calls during Soccer Bowls, and shifted to the Power after Lee Stern folded the Sting. (Balson probably even knows where Karl-Heinz Granitza is hiding from creditors in Germany.) By his own estimation, Balson has had enough analysts-28-that they could apply for a group rate to a game. This list includes WGN’s Roy Leonard. The contests Balson has worked have been aired, at one time or another, on seven TV and 12 radio outlets. “On radio, one of two things always happened after they carried our soccer games,” said Balson. “Either the ratings increased for the next booking period or they completely changed their format.”
– Special K: When the Rangers called that special press conference at the start of spring training, many reporters who follow the team thought it was to announce Nolan Ryan was retiring and not that he was coming back for another season. This means White Sox fans might get to see Ryan when Texas comes to Comiskey Park in June and September. Sox manager Gene Lamont certainly has a special memory of Nolan, having contributed a strikeout to the pitcher’s record-breaking total. “I was a pinch hitter,” recalled Lamont. “Never got the bat off my shoulder.”
– Marlin watch 1: The death of Marlins President Carl Barger has changed the chain ofcommand for GM Dave Dombrowski, who used to be in the White Sox’s player development office. Dombrowski now reports directly to Marlins owner Wayne Huizenga. Said Dave: “I didn’t know Wayne before. If I don’t agree with him now, I feel comfortable telling him.”
– Marlin watch 2: Huizenga, like Dombrowski, is a former Chicagoan. Huizenga was CEO of Waste Management here before taking charge of Blockbuster Entertainment. As you might expect, Marlins games are expected to feature more than the average number of “Hollywood-style” special effects. Huizenga is said to be fond of the way the NBA keeps fans’ heads turning. “It’s all entertainment to me,” he said.
– Mark it down: Mark Guidry, hottest jockey in Chicago for the past two years, is expected to be in the saddle Saturday at Sportsman’s Park for the first time this year. He has been riding at Gulfstream Park this winter. Guidry has won the riding title for the past two meetings at Sportsman’s and also won the Arlington crown last summer.
– Ladies man: If Bo Jackson trots onto the field Opening Day for the White Sox, he has told everyone the memory of his deceased mother will be on his mind. “My comeback’s dedicated to her,” said Bo. In the mean time, who’s the person he listens to most while making the attempt? His wife, Linda. Said Bo: “She is the backbone. It doesn’t matter who criticizes Bo Jackson out there. I sleep with her and I look at her first thing in the morning. It’s what she tells me that’s most important.”
– Around town: Former NBA regular Harvey Catchings, who spent 11 seasons with the Bucks, Knicks, and Nets, has opened his own advertising specialties firm in Bensenville. . . . The annual Sportmart-Shamrock Shuffle will offer prize money-a total of $2,100-for the first time when the 8K run takes place March 14 in Chicago. Carole Pooler, the jogger who was stabbed in Grant Park in January, will run in the race. She has been given the No. 1 tag. . . . Tickets have gone on sale at the Hyatt Regency Chicago for its second annual “for women only” basketball clinic with the Bulls. The event is March 25 with proceeds going to the CharitaBulls.
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– And finally: Here’s Cardinals manager Joe Torre on pitchers in the National League East: “I’m happy David Cone isn’t with the Mets anymore, but I sort of wished Greg Maddux had signed with the Yankees.”