In the journalism trade, you are cautioned against making sweeping generalizations based on personal observation. You try not to equate the anecdotal with the universal.
But it`s only human to make connections between one`s own experience and larger trends.
So, based on what I see from my kitchen window, I`ve developed a general theory about what`s wrong with America.
Call it the ”Dog Doo Theory” of social disintegration.
The Dog Doo Theory helps me understand all sorts of things, from the erosion of personal values seen in the savings and loan ripoff or the congressional check-kiting scandal, to the mass selfishness of today`s ”Cut my taxes, not my benefits” political mood.
The Dog Doo Theory is based not on 20 years of covering government and business hereabouts, but on watching people in my neighborhood ”walk” their dogs. ”Walk” is the euphemism owners use for emptying their pets` bladders and lower intestines on somebody else`s property.
Business economists call it externalization of negatives. But while most corporations have cleaned up their environmental acts, the dog doo situation just seems to get worse.
There are laws against it, of course. In Evanston, where I live, you can be fined up to $200 for emptying your pet and not removing the offending fecal matter. Chicago imposes a similar fine.
But morning after morning, I look up from my kitchen table and see dozens of dog walkers blithely emptying their Fidos and Fifis. Four out of five walk away, leaving big steaming heaps in the snow or grass.
Not my grass, mind you, but the public`s grass.
My bungalow backs up to a delightful stretch of publicly owned land called the Peter N. Jans Community Golf Course. It`s not much of a course, but its short length and low daily fee makes it popular with young beginners and old duffers on tight budgets.
Because it has no perimeter fence, the course also is used by joggers, power-walkers, bird watchers, and, in the winter, cross-country skiers. An informal etiquette exists between golfers and other users. Foursomes don`t tee off into oncoming joggers. And joggers mark time rather than run in front of golfers about to hit. It`s all very Evanston.
Then there are the dog emptiers.
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A more thoughtless group of casual criminals would be hard to find. Drug dealers and pimps come to mind.
They come from blocks away-some even drive their animals to the course-apparently figuring that defecating on public land is safer than sneaking Rover into the neighbor`s bushes. Typically they unleash their pets on arrival (also against the law) and let them run.
Imagine a 100-pound German shepherd rushing up to a startled golfer or a child playing kickball. Imagine a trailing voice yelling: ”Don`t worry! Bruno is really very gentle. He loves children!”
Perhaps the most troubling thing is that this is Evanston, a university town and self-regarded citadel of do-goodism. Once a wellspring of the abolition and temperance movements, today`s Evanston is known for its nuclear- free zones, peace vigils and ”Save the whales” bumber stickers, the latter often on illegally parked Volvo station wagons (”the intelligent alternative.”) Last month my hometown voted overwhelmingly for Paul Tsongas and Carol Moseley Braun.
Neighbors of mine who run their dogs on the course include college professors, directors of charitable organizations, marketing executives and fellow journalists-well-educated folk who listen to a lot of public radio and read the New Republic. They are socially aware, at least in the abstract.
But there is nothing abstract about stepping in dog doo.
There`s also not much the rest of us can do about it. The police have more important things to worry about, so the $200 fine is useless. Peer pressure doesn`t work, because most dog owners love their pets more than their neighbors. If you doubt this, confront one the next time you see Rex or Rusty dropping a load in a tot lot or at the beach.
But be careful what you say.
A couple of years ago an Evanston alderman, concerned about child safety and health, proposed to ban dogs from playgrounds and parks. Hundreds of owners showed up at the first, and only, public hearing on the matter to shout her down.
”I`m a smart politician. I dropped it,” said Ald. Anne Rainey, though she still thinks too many owners exhibit ”a lack of common human decency.”
But that`s how it is in Evanston, where we`re always marching to save humanity. Just watch where you step.