They share the same page in the phone book: Wedding Services and Weight Loss Services, the directory`s little joke about married couples.
You`ve seen it happen to friends. Perhaps you are not immune yourself.
You know the couple in that wedding photograph, on the beach in Mexico?
That was before they ate their way through the honeymoon, and the first year of candlelight dinners-always with dessert. With marriage comes calories, say weight-management specialists, one of whom says 75 percent of newlyweds gain 10 pounds the first year.
A romantic dinner at home with Steve and Jacquie Zoellin of San Francisco used to go something like this: A nice bottle of wine, chateaubriand with bechamel sauce, a salad with pears, walnuts, ricotta cheese and poppy-seed dressing, asparagus with crab and hollandaise sauce and fettuccine Alfredo.
They were not celebrating anything in particular, except the weekend.
”That was just a regular meal,” says Steve, 41, an account manager.
”Oh, I also made creme brulee that night.” Not surprisingly, Steve has put on 90 pounds during the past nine years.
An 18-year affair
Eighteen years after their wedding, the Zoellins are trying to lose the weight that crept up on them after too many nights of takeout Chinese and pizza or a husband`s flair for French cooking.
”The longer we were married, the more we felt like we were in a comfort zone,” says Jacquie, who has gained about 60 pounds since she walked down the aisle.
Giving affection in the form of food is one reason couples might put on weight, says Dr. Joan Saxton, an internist and director of the weight management program at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco. Feeling settled and secure in a marriage-and being out of circulation-is another.
”When you`re single, you`re out there exercising, trying to look your best, and after you settle down, those aerobics classes might seem less important,” she says.
Add pregnancy to the mix, and you`ve got at least one stout spouse around the house, possibly two, if he tends to nibble along while she indulges her cravings. For one wife, it was a certain kind of sweet.
”I loved those animal cookies from Mother`s, you know the ones with the pink and white icing?” says a 32-year-old San Francisco homemaker who gained 10 pounds the first two months of marriage and another 10 after her pregnancy. Her husband, a 50-year-old stockbroker, has added about 30 pounds since they were married two years ago, she says.
Then she got pregnant, and he put on 20 more pounds.
Women first
While weight-loss counselors see married couples frequently, the majority of the clientele are women, many of whom come in to lose their post-pregnancy weight. Nan Brenzel, a behaviorist at Physis, a preventive medical health and fitness center in San Francisco, has seen certain patterns emerge:
”You might see the woman within a year or two of the marriage, the man tends to wait a little longer. With couples, I usually see them at around three years after the marriage, or around nine years; and then again when the woman goes through menopause.”
Slight weight gain is a normal part of aging and a more sedentary lifestyle, which often goes along with marriage.
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”Your metabolism doesn`t change the day after the wedding, but your lifestyle does,” says Bill Hartman, a psychologist with the weight management program at California Pacific Medical Center.
Couples with kids may be cooking at home but exercising less, as family demands cut into leisure time. And as couples tend to marry older, it is likely either one or both have been promoted to positions that require less physical activity.
The first-year curse
Those first 10 pounds are easy to ignore, says Dr. Jerry Sutkamp, national medical director of the Physicians Weight Loss Centers in Akron, Ohio, who estimates 75 percent of his married clients put on 8 to 10 pounds the first year of marriage.
”Usually nobody says anything about it during that first year,” says Sutkamp, author of ”How to Help Your Man Lose Weight: A Guide for the Concerned Woman” (Simon & Schuster, $15.95).
Men are particularly susceptible, he says, ”because they are far less pressured about their having to watch their weight in this society. And if the couple won`t change their habits, Sutkamp says, they can expect to put on another 10 pounds each year for five years. ”But the first year is the most dangerous.”
That 75 percent figure seems far-fetched to Dr. Robert Baron, director of the weight management and risk reduction program at the University of California at San Francisco.
”There might be rumors to that effect, but no literature exists as far as I know,” Baron says.
If you do decide to diet, do it as a couple, says behaviorist Nan Brenzel. ”What I hear over and over again from people is, `I don`t want to make two (different) meals.` Every bit of research proves that support is what helps people maintain the weight loss.”
The Zoellins embarked on a supervised diet and exercise program about a month ago, and the weight is coming off. He`s lost about 20 pounds; she`s dropped 15.
Their typical dinner menu is a pasta dish and salad. No dessert,” Steve says. ”And a bottle and a half of wine. We still like good wine. It`s all a trade-off.”