I`m all, ”When did people start talking this way?”
So I call my friend George Lakoff, the, you know, linguist? And he`s all, ”What is `all` doing there? It`s not your everyday `all.` ”
But the teenagers I know, they`re all, ”Ohmygod, this is how we, you know, talk?”
And like this girl I know, Tamar, she went to the University of Vermont last year and during orientation this girl from the South is all, ”Hi, y`all.” And Tamar, she`s all, ”I`m about to ask her if she`s from the South because she has this Southern accent? And she`s all, `Are you from California?` And I`m all, `How did you know?` And she`s all, `By the way you say ”all” instead of ”said.” ` And I`m all, `Ohmygod.` ”
So I like call this other linguist, Geoff Nunberg, he`s on like National Public Radio and he`s all, ”It`s used in the narrative present,” and I`m all, ”Really?”
And then he`s all, ”New verbs for `say` come like every thousand years and suddenly we have three at once.”
He`s talking about ”like” and ”go,” which some people say instead of
”all.”
He`s like, ”What happened 15 or so years ago that led to three new verbs?” And I go, ”You don`t think people got, you know, dumber?”
Then, this is so totally weird, I get this like letter? And it`s from this guy Dave Reynolds who`s a student at Del Amigo High School in, you know, Danville? And he sends me this Slang Dictionary he and his friends wrote and there on Page 2 they`re all: ”He`s all-a phrase used instead of he said . . . example: And then he`s all, `Hi there!` ”
And then on the next line they`re like, ”He goes-Same as `He`s all.` ”
And I`m like, ”Dave, do you talk this way?” and he`s all, ”I don`t say it that much, but when teenagers are talking with their friends, they say it. And people I know, their mothers says it.”
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So I go, ”What do you think of mothers who talk that way?” and Dave`s all, ”They sound more worldly. They listen to their kids and communicate with them more.”
And then I`m all, ”Groovy.”
And then Dave blows my mind by saying he`s even heard people say ”like” plus ”all!” and I`m all, ”Like give me an example,” and he goes, ”He`s like all, `I want to break up with you.` ”
And I`m like all, ”Yeah, I`ve heard that, for sure.”
So then I`m all, ”Dave, how come you don`t have the word `chill` in your slang dictionary?” because I`ve been chillin` with Dave on the phone for a while now and I like want to show him I`m worldly. So Dave goes, ”It`s used so much it`s really not slang.”
Oh.