With Paul Tsongas` political fortunes waning in the face of a Bill Clinton electoral onslaught, the mild-mannered former senator with the Elmer Fudd voice and the dry wit might start considering a second career: standup comedy.
Tsongas may not have gotten the votes he needed to win in Illinois and Michigan, but he won plenty of hearts with his warm, self-deprecating humor.
Take the moment at Northwestern University Monday night when he was greeted by a wildly cheering crowd of about 1,000 students.
”What are you handing out?” he queried his campaign staffers, passing out literature to the thunderous crowd. ”Money or buttons?”
Later, he told the students that he feared his well-documented political magnetism might just keep him from office this year.
”I`m too telegenic, too charismatic, just too much a pretty face,” said the quiet, balding Tsongas, eliciting roars from the crowd.
At other stops, the former senator has made fun of his clear political deficits, noting that only a Greek Massachusetts native who`s not in office and who has had cancer could have brought President Bush down from 91 percent in the approval polls last year to 39 percent now.
”I didn`t meant to take him down so fast,” Tsongas told supporters in Detroit last week. ”I kind of feel badly.” However, ”I have a rule,” he said. ”I don`t run against anybody until they`re 80 percent. When he hit 91 percent, I had no choice.”
In recent days, Tsongas has jokingly criticized Richard Nixon for calling him ”too responsible” to be nominated by the Democrats. ”How embarrassing! I wish he`d quit attacking me,” the senator said. And he has held polling place doors open for voters, promising ”an open-door policy” as president.
When babies cry in the crowd, he turns and quips, ”That`s what George Bush is going to sound like in November.”
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On the campaign plane, Tsongas has even been known to take over the public address system to offer a few wry comments, including a promise not to move ”further to the left” on the day his plane was stuck in the mud at Midway and listing heavily to the left side.
The light-hearted atmosphere and long hours also have had their effect on Tsongas` staff, who last week took over the flight safety presentation at one point, demonstrating the seat belts and-unsuccessfully-the inflatable life vests.
The signs identifying the former senator`s press buses also have undergone numerous transformations. The ”Tsongas” or ”Press” designations have regularly been altered to ”White House” or even ”Party” on the night one was hijacked by reporters and taken to a press party. And the press plane`s aisle is regularly used as a bowling alley for oranges, with used soda cans serving as pins.
But jokes about Tsongas` lack of sex appeal have been the real favorites on the campaign trail.
Interrupted by delayed applause during a speech about abortion rights in Detroit last week, Tsongas managed to get out only ”I want women
. . .” before being drowned out with laughter. ”No,” he quipped, when the crowd quieted. ”That`s the other guy.”