GOBBLE, GOBBLE?

Agriculture officials are baffled by an alarming drop in the North American turkey population.

Hundreds of thousands of turkeys are reported gone from farms across the country. ”We can`t account for it,” said one official. ”It seems to happen about this time every year.”

Some observers believe it may be the work of a satanic poultry cult, slaughtering the birds for some sort of ritual such as ”gathering together in groups to stuff themselves beyond human endurance” in a kind of feeding frenzy.

Whatever the cause, officials say if the strange disappearance continues at its present pace, by the first of the year there won`t be a turkey left in the country. Excluding Congress, of course.