IN THE PURPLE.

Rich Miller, Pennsylvania`s bridge design supervisor, decided the drab green 82-year-old Hulton Bridge in Oakmont could use a new look. His choice of color-”tint of lilac”-or purple. Miller didn`t tell the construction crew about the change, which could have resulted in some purple language. ”We called it shade 2695,” Miller said. ”If they knew it was going to be tint of lilac they would have punched me. Now I keep telling the macho guys in the field that we`re going to use pink next.”

HALFWAY HOME Tuesday, July 2, marked the start of the second half of 1991. Anyone who said they were going to do some particularly challenging task ”this year” is running out of time.

JEFFERSON`S HEIR A descendant of Thomas Jefferson and his slave mistress Sally Hemmings became a federal judge this week. Timothy K. Lewis is the second black judge to sit on the federal bench in the Western District of Pennsylvania, replacing Paul A. Simmons who retired after being the first black to hold the position. Historical documents indicate that Lewis, a Republican, and former U.S. assistant attorney, is the great-great-great-great-great grandson of Jefferson and Hemmings. Jefferson`s grandson, Lewis Woodson, moved the family to the Pittsburgh area in 1831. Instead of discussing his ancestors, Lewis praised the contributions of Justice Thurgood Marshall, who resigned from the Supreme Court last week.

WATER THAT GRASS! The lack of rain may soon force some Chicago-area communities to impose water restrictions, but at the Alameda Naval Air Station in California even a drought is no excuse for not having a nice lawn. Residents of the air station have been told to water their lawns or face eviction for not keeping their yards shipshape. Yes, sir!

MICHIGAN CHECKS IT OUT Tom Smith of Southfield, Mich., was tired of getting the run-around from Michigan`s state bureaucracy. So he decided to pay the fee for a professional license test by writing a check to the ”State of Confusion.” The state (of Michigan, that is) cashed the check. ”I`ve never heard of anything quite like this, but evidently it is possible,” said Ed Quenby of the Michigan Insurance Bureau. ”I`d like to get a copy of this check to use as a teaching tool to show our employees what can happen.” Just think what kind of name Illinois residents would like to give their state?

DOSEY DON`T Other than an accountants` reunion, perhaps the last place to expect a serious beating would be at a square dance convention. But that`s what happened Saturday night in Salt Lake City when an unidentified 35-year-old man was beaten unconscious after he was caught lifting women`s skirts during a square dance. The man was in serious condition at LDS Hospital Tuesday with a skull fracture. Police said he was apparently beaten by two male dancers and dumped in the bushes outside the Salt Palace convention complex where the square dance convention was going on. During the convention, police said, the public was invited to participate, and the man reportedly lifted women`s skirts and ”forced himself” on several dancers. No arrests were made but the rest of the square dancing was on the level.