The phone rang at precisely the right moment, while the Mets were waiting out a rain delay at Shea. Davey Johnson, at home in Maitland, Fla., knew exactly where Buddy Harrelson would be (in his office) and what he`d be doing (watching TV).
Johnson also figured Buddy would be alone, which he was. That was good. What Johnson had to say on June 8-exactly 10 days after he was fired-was for no one`s ears except Harrelson`s.
”Buddy, I`m with you, not against you,” Johnson said. ”You deserve this job, and I don`t want you to worry about me. Just listen to your heart. Take everyone`s advice, but do what you feel is the right thing.”
Harrelson smiled, glad to hear from his old friend. The two men chatted for several minutes, breaking through a thin layer of ice. Buddy conceded he`d been feeling ”a little guilty” about taking Johnson`s job. Somehow, Johnson knew that.
Johnson never got to say goodbye to Harrelson the afternoon he was dismissed.
He was hustled out a side door of the Cincinnati Hilton, onto a Florida-bound plane.
How could Harrelson ever say, ”I`m happy,” when he wanted to say ”I`m sorry” to Johnson? It`s like Darryl Strawberry put it the other day in St. Louis: ”Every day we win makes me feel good for Buddy, but it also makes me feel bad for Davey. We cost the man his job.”
Johnson knew this type of guilt could linger, which is why he called Harrelson. Harrelson said: ”It was good of Davey to call, real good. It let me feel all right about taking the job.”
Harrelson might not have known it when he hung up, but the conversation freed Johnson, too. Finally, he released the Mets from his soul and was liberated from his ”failure.”
Johnson actually used that word. Imagine the most successful manager in Met history, No. 5 among active skippers with a .594 winning percentage when he was fired, doubting himself. But as the Mets caught fire after Johnson`s firing, Johnson asked himself: ”Was it all my fault?”
”I don`t know if `inadequacy` is the right word, probably not. But I had a lot of disappointment that I couldn`t overcome the odds against me,”
Johnson said. ”I guess I felt some failure. I failed the team, failed the
(front office), failed the fans. I`m dealing with it OK now.”