I came from a family that was very, very wealthy, but had no money. We had a lot of love; a lot of caring, values, integrity and a desire to help people. We were the house on the side of the road. We took in hobos and gypsies. There was a nun who, I realize now, was just too young to make such a commitment and she stayed with us for four days.
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We lived near a highway and the people who were migrating to the sun belt to pick fruit or what have you would stop at our house if their car broke down, or if they wanted to rest. We had two mattresses on the bed and one would be put on the floor for the guests to use.
I think our location was part of the reason for this, but I also think the word got around. I don`t remember a week without four or five people stopping by. We didn`t have a lot of material things, but we shared what we had.
From this experience I think I got interested in people and in helping people. My brother, who was just a year and a half older than I, added to this by also needing my help. He had a learning disability and teachers were impatient with him. My mother also taught, and was impatient with his learning. I couldn`t stand the scolding he would suffer, so I took over his teaching and got him through high school.
So it`s natural for me to want to help people. And my teachers and family and church were always encouraging me in getting an education and in helping others. My grandmother, who lived with us, was incredibly creative and taught me, by example, how to get things done in spite of obstacles.
Once when we didn`t have any wood to heat the house she went across the road to a coffin factory and asked the man to give us some shavings from the wood of the coffins in his store. He was impressed with her and gave her some shavings mixed with wood My grandmother put water on the sawdust and made it burn like coal.
I learned a great deal and I treasure that kind of creativity and imagination and vision that my mother and grandmother had. I didn`t see our lives as being deprived. I saw it as something special. I learned that just because there are obstacles doesn`t mean you can`t do something other ways. And it`s fun.
These were Depression years, but we were very proud. We were not on welfare. My mother worked for (the) WPA, which was a work program during those days. My grandmother was born two years before slavery ended, but she did finish high school and my mother had two years of college. They felt that if you got the education, you could never lose it. And I`ve tried to impart the same to my sons.
When I was 22 I married and moved to Chicago, where my husband was living and working. I had met him in college. This was the most difficult decision I ever made, to leave my mother, who by this time was blind and had lost a leg. My father had died when I was very young. But I had to make a choice. Arrangements were made, but it was difficult.
We were married five years before we had our first child. But then I was perpetually pregnant. My three sons are 11 1/2 months apart. I think the introduction of children in that rapid fashion caused something in the balance of the marriage to go haywire and I was divorced. I remained divorced about 12 years before I married Robert, my husband of almost 21 years.
I knew I had to be very well prepared to take care of my children. I did not want them to suffer as a result of not having two parents. So the same month the divorce became final I entered Loyola University in the School of Social Work and two years later I had my master`s degree. So I had three children, ages 1, 2 and 3, and I was going to school. And I worked a part time job.
I have worked as many as three jobs at one time to bring my sons up so they did not have the burden of wanting things that they need; not things that they just want, but basic needs.
I think my greatest accomplishment has been the successful upbringing of my sons. We lived in the inner city and it the kids. And I think for a mother to bring up three young men is fantastic and I`m so proud of the boys I don`t know what to do.
I have a most supporting husband. I didn`t have time to date, but I didn`t want to be alone and I didn`t want to hang onto my kids. I just prayed to God to bring someone to me and he did. I met Robert and three months later we got married. It`s been a great relationship, even with three adolescent sons who had had me for 12 years alone. It was difficult, but the relationship has cemented.
When I went to South Central they had no executive director, just a group of people who were concerned about mental health. When I listened to the group and their attempts to get funding I got very excited. I started in my living room with $5 and five sheets of paper, which were a brief proposal for funding.
I worked from home for about six weeks and moved my private practice from the Loop to the South Side so I could have some kind of office space for this organization. I had five paraprofessionals working with me and we were able to renovate a double store front on Cottage Grove. We did that within six months after I took the job and in July 1970 we took in 20 emotionally disturbed children for a day treatment program.
It was evident immediately that we would have to get a larger place. After three years we were able to convince the Department of Mental Health that we needed more space. We found an abandoned warehouse and we paid $25 down, on contract, to get this place and it took us about two years to get the money to renovate.
We`ve been very fortunate. I feel that it`s been a labor of love. It`s been exciting and challenging. And I need a challenge; that`s what makes me tick. I`ve had the privilege of attracting a lot of really committed people, for the board as well as for the staff.
We have members of our staff of more than 140 people who have been with us for as long as 18 years. They work in their off time as volunteers. And they are not a high-paid staff. They just love the place.
I took the job at South Central because I wanted to learn as much as I could and bring things home to my people. And I did learn, but I wanted what I brought to my people to be the cream of the crop and I think we`ve accomplished this. Even down to the way we maintain our buildings. They are neat and clean and anything that we can possibly repair, we do.
A woman can accomplish a lot alone, but she has to understand one thing, and that is that you cannot be father and mother to your children. But you can be a darn good mother, a good, sensitive, non-domineering mama. But take time out to replenish yourself. Otherwise you will feel very angry and feel depleted. Allow your children to know you`re human and then they can be human, too.
Whatever you go after, go after it with a dream. And don`t dream too small. Otherwise you`ll arrive too fast. Have a light that you keep moving toward.
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I think it has been a help to my work at South Central that I`m a woman. You must have an assuredness. If you are confident in your ability you don`t compromise yourself. You do not let yourself be exploited. You can always feel solid when you`re there. Nobody put you there but you.
I always did my research when I had to make a proposal to my board of directors, which is predominantly male. I always knew what I was talking about and, consequently, I could feel very confident.
A woman need not be intimidated, if she`s done her homework and she keeps business as business.