That medical study linking coffee drinking to longer sex lives sure won`t hurt coffee-house business around here. But along the English Channel, where high tea and inhibitions are quite proper. . . . Well, this is hot stuff for London`s tabloids. A nation of tea-totalers might already be brewing with today`s scones and java. Hence that wise new adage-”there`s many a half-slip `twixt cup and lip.”
JAILHOUSE YARN Enough of sex. Now onto justice: In Judge Patricia Micklow`s courtroom in Marquette, Mich., offenders get free needles. But it`s an old-fashioned use they`re put to-knitting afghans, hats, scarves and mittens for the needy. Said Micklow: ”I tell them this is a way to help make up for (their crimes).” The yarn is donated by a local church.
WELL, SHE WASN`T HENPECKED John Berry`s pit-bull terriers unnerved postal carrier Charlotte Ingold. But two ”attack turkeys” sent her running for cover. Ingold, who delivers mail in Downstate Cottage Hills, near St. Louis, remembers gripping her can of dog spray on her way toward Berry`s mailbox. But the two pit bulls left her alone. Then along came Tom and Jake, Berry`s pet turkeys, who gobbled menacingly. Ingold zapped them with the dog spray. But instead of turning chicken, the two toms began chasing Ingold. Neighbors saw one lunge at her face; the other pecked a hole in her trousers. Berry, trying to smooth ruffled feathers, contritely promised to cage his pets at mail call. He also posted a sign outside his home: ”Beware of Turkeys!”
TRUMP ZAPS REAGAN Perhaps there`s a streak of middle class in Donald Trump after all. Arguably the Big Apple`s most society-driven high-rise tycoon, Trump flew to Tinsel Town to emcee Hebrew University`s Scopus Awards. There he spotted a familiar face-and let fly with a zinger: ”President Reagan is here, and I can tell this audience he did not get $2 million for coming here tonight. You didn`t get $2 million for this, did you, Mr. President?” Trump`s bold reference to Rent-a-Ronnie`s Japanese gratuity elicited no response from his target. But, according to columnist Liz Smith, a white-faced Nancy leaned over and asked, ”Did he really say what I think he said?”
DUKAKIS: I FEEL TERRIBLE Quoting from Agamemnon that suffering is learning, Michael Dukakis prepared for his final year as governor of Massachusetts with a public apology. ”A funny thing happened on the road to the White House,” said Dukakis in his 12th annual State of the State Address. ”I ran a great campaign for the primary and a lousy one for the final. I lost and, in the process, Massachusetts took a very unfair beating. And I feel terrible about it.” With his ”Massachusetts miracle” reduced to an illusion, Dukakis admitted making things worse by underestimating the demands of running for the presidency and managing state affairs. ”Trying to do two jobs at the same time was more difficuilt and more grueling than I expected,” he said, ”And I underestimated the toll it would take on my family, too.” Turning then to his wife, Kitty, as ”the love of my life who just gets more beautiful every day,” Dukakis triggered a two-minute standing ovation for Mrs. Dukakis, whose problems with alcohol were aggravated by campaign pressures. It was her first public appearance in a month.