At a production of ”Anything Goes” in Cincinnati, several things went:
an `87 Nissan, an `89 Plymouth. . . . Three playgoers discovered too late that a uniformed carhop near Taft Theater was only playing the part. Indeed, before staging a smooth getaway (along with her car keys, car and a $3 parking fee), the bogus valet asked Cindy Schweikert if her companion was her sister. Said Schweikert: ”My mother tipped him $1.”
HAIL TO THE SECRETARY Some sure act flighty in Washington. According to Washington Monthly, Secretary of Commerce Robert Mosbacher has designated an entrance to his office building for his ”own exclusive use.” The Mosbacher portal now sports a red awning-while lesser folk enter through a servants` entrance.
TEARS OVER A BUMPER CROP Finders keepers, losers weepers-and Octavio Sajuan is weeping. By driving off with his wife`s purse atop his car, Sajuan inadvertently gladdened dozens of motorists on Highway 99 near Modesto, Calif. The purse contained $10,000 he had just withdrawn from a bank. ”The husband said he had been working seven days a week to try to catch up on bills,” said Highway Patrol Officer Guillermo Godinez. ”He was so upset he was crying. It`s a very sad story.”
The purse had been left topside while Mrs. Sajuan strapped their daughter into a car seat at the bank. Realization set in after $4,000 had blown out.
SCRUB TIME IN SHREVEPORT Anyone who needs medical care can attest to how much doctors seemingly clean up. Well, they`re really cleaning up in Shreveport, La. Some two dozen physicians there are collecting street litter to help instill community pride. ”About this time last year we began looking at our city and surrounding area,” said Dr. Ben Singletary of Shreveport`s Medical Society. Suspecting a connection between slovenly street appearances and emotional depression, the good Samaritans decided to attack community malaise as a medical group. Is reverse transfusion working? Well, on one recent day, Shreveport`s trash triage team collected 3,800 pounds of litter. They`re also planning to plant myrtle along main thoroughfares, help mow grass and create ornamental flag displays at six entrances to city limits.
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DOWNCAST AT `LES MISERABLES` Speaking of trashy endings, the traveling Broadway cast of ”Les Miserables” found misery in Pittsburgh. The ragged outfits worn by street rebels staging the French Revolution were stuffed into plastic trash bags for a trip to the cleaners. Sacrebleu, someone peeked inside the bags and dutifully tossed them out-into a garbage dumpster. The show had to go on, albeit threadbare. But some landfill is $50,000 richer in rags.
JAMES BROWN: HALF FREE It seems like only yesterday that James Brown was jailed in South Carolina for trying to maim cops. Indeed, with barely a year gone on a six-year assault sentence, the Godfather of Soul is about to taste daytime freedom-on work release. ”Prisoners like Mr. Brown can work . . . fast-food restaurants or mow lawns for the state highway system, but they can`t work around establishments that serve alcohol,” said a prison spokesman. Not to worry. Brown has several offers to work as a daytime deejay in Columbia. At night, of course, he definitely must hit the bars.