The romantic demise of Louisiana Gov. Earl Long in ”Blaze” is a Hollywood lie, but Blaze Starr hardly objects; she`s getting 4 percent of the profits. Bourbon Street`s longtime queen of burlesque nonetheless relates a real-life parting no less dramatic than what scriptwriters invented. Okay, Long didn`t die in his sweetheart`s lap as the movie states. Starr did, however, fly to Baton Rouge for the wake: ”I walked into the Capitol with a single red rose in my breasts. I didn`t look right or left as I walked to the casket. Then I pulled out the rose and said, `This is for you, Earl.` I knew that`s what he would like.” (Well, that`s what she said!)
ZSA ZSA TOPS 1989 WHINERS Nancy ”Just Say Dough” Reagan came close. So did sob-sister Tammy Faye Bakker and ”Today” show memo-whiner Bryant Gumbel. But America`s top whiner is Zsa Zsa Gabor, says Keven Zaborney of Clio, Mich., who ought to know. He invented National Whiners Day and the award that goes with it. After analyzing a national poll on the subject for Family Circle magazine, Zaborney concluded that Gabor was 1989`s most deserving whiner for her heroic courthouse imitation of a victim. The award is distributed as a Christmas treat for those who think it is better to receive than to give-but always complain about what they get.
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HISS AND HERS A hissing contest is keeping some of your lesser-known celebrity animals occupied. It started with a report that Geraldo Rivera had named his new pets after tabloid-TV rivals Maury Povich and Connie Chung-hence ”Connie Chu” for his Shar-Pei puppy and ”Maury Chirp” for his canary. A Geraldo flack called it ”the highest form of endearment.” Chung hissed sweetly in response:
”Maury and I have a snake. We call it Geraldo.” Gee, and all this time you thought his rattle was age-appropriate.
ROOM AT THE TOP By now you`ve figured out that Newsmakers is a holiday casualty of wire service lethargy. Well, enter Bill Adler of the New York Times corporate relations department with a spirited post-Christmas story of show-biz success. According to Adler, a talent agent pathetically down on his luck is visited by the devil, who offers a deal: ”I can get you Frank Sinatra, Mick Jagger, Dustin Hoffman and five other major stars. You`ll be the richest, most successful agent in the business. In return, you`ll have to bequeath your soul to me, plus you`ll have to kill your parents and sell your children into slavery.” The talent agent`s response? ”Okay, what`s the catch?”
MANWATCHERS EYE COSTNER Forget Sean Connery and Ken Wahl. When it comes to model men, Kevin Costner leads a field of dreamboats.
So says Manwatchers Inc., a Los Angeles women`s group dedicated to observing males and assessing their physical attributes. Costner is ”natural, comfortably masculine and sexy,” says Manwatchers` unabashed president, Suzy Mallery. He`s ”the man of the `90s, or what we hope the man of the `90s will be like.”
Also on Manwatchers` list of the 10 most watchable people: ”Nightline”
host Ted Koppel, actors Mel Gibson, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, basketball star Magic Johnson and talk-show host Arsenio Hall.
In the group for the first time are three women: Michelle Pfeiffer, Barbara Bush and Jane Pauley.
Pfeiffer, Mallery said, represents ”what many of today`s women would like to be: beautiful, bright and successful.”