America-bashing has become the ”in” thing to do in Tokyo. Tired of the relentless tongue-lashing from a variety of public and private U.S. leaders, the Japanese are firing back.
For every American insult, there is now a Japanese one.
They live in rabbit hutches; we live in unkempt mansions. They drive little tin cans; we drive gas guzzlers. They save their money; we spend ours
(and theirs). They build good products; we build schlock. They preserve their companies; we take ours over. They think long; we think short. They educate their children; we babysit ours.
They apply; we invent. They think small; we think big. They have civil servants; we have political hacks. They pull together; we pull apart. They plan; we improvise. They make surpluses; we make deficits. They have sound banks; we have savings and loans.
They nurture their science for commercial application; we strangle science for the military. They educate a majority of the population for high average; we educate a minority of the population for superstar status. They direct their students into jobs after graduation; we leave our graduates bereft and often depressed.
They have rigid schools with tough requirements; we have lenient schools with courses in basketweaving. They listen to employee suggestions; we command ours to do the job or else. They do work in teams; we do it with individuals. They invest in new machinery; we run the old stuff until it falls apart.
They organize their companies into powerful, informal groups; we splinter ours into individual, uncoordinated units. They have the government behind their industry; we have the government as a remote, noncaring enemy. They support new scientific endeavors with public funds; we discourage public subsidy of private industry.
They go after new markets; we go after safe profits. They specialize in finely honed detail; we specialize in sweeping grand design flawed in detail. They try to please the customer; we try to bamboozle ours.
They have a low cost of capital; we have a high cost of capital. They respond to challenge with greater energy; we respond to challenge with greater whining. They put visionary marketeers in charge of corporations; we put number-crunching cost-cutters in charge of ours.
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They jump at an opportunity; we shrink from one. They de-emphasize the role of the shareholder and let management run companies; we bow to the shareholder as divine, no matter how short-sighted the shareholder is.
They build for export; we build for import. They sacrifice; we indulge. They hire employees for long careers in one company; we hire to fire as soon as the first slowdown hits. They are rigid; we are flexible.
They keep their markets closed; we keep ours open. They buy our cities;
we buy their cars. They fight the next war; we fight the last one. They love technology; we are afraid of gadgets of any kind.
They put industry leaders in charge of planning industrial strategy; we put Dan Quayle in charge of planning ours. They keep interest rates low; we keep interest rates high. They export television sets; we sit glued to them six hours a day. They read books; we read channel selectors.
They go to museums; we go to malls. They eat rice; we eat French fries. They take pictures; we get our pictures taken. They believe in the power of the group; we believe in the power of the individual.
They preserve; we waste. They take short vacations; we take long ones. They love Mondays; we love Fridays. They give respect and get it in return; we share none and receive none. They say sayonara and mean it; we say ”Have a nice day” and don`t.
They live in an organized society; we live in a disorganized one. They commute to work, orderly, by train; we commute to work, disorderly, by car. They discriminate by keeping minorities out; we discriminate by keeping them in ghettos.
Despite all these differences, we share many similarities.
They drive Japanese cars; we drive Japanese cars. They buy Japanese compact discs; we buy Japanese compact discs. They work in Japanese buildings; we work in Japanese buildings. They work for Japanese bosses; we work for Japanese bosses.
They watch movies made by Japanese companies; we watch movies made by Japanese companies. They take photos with Japanese cameras; we take photos with Japanese cameras. They use Japanese manufacturing methods; we use Japanese manufacturing methods. They use Japanese capital; we use Japanese capital.
They love America; we love America. They have their act together; we need to get our act together.