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Carl Rowen, the syndicated columnist whose advocacy of gun control backfired last year when he shot a trespasser, has lost another round to the gun lobby. His lawyer son, Carl Jr., has been hired as a lobbyist for the National Rifle Association. ”My father and I have one standing rule,” said the younger Rowan. ”I don`t tell him what to write and he doesn`t tell me who to represent.”

KOCH: IT`S TIME TO CHANGE ”Over time, society changes. So must the government which serves it,”

observed New York Mayor Ed Koch, who issued an order granting bereavement leave to any city employee whose ”domestic partner” has a death in the immediate family. Koch`s order applies to ”close and committed” unmarried adults who have lived together at least a year-whether homosexual,

heterosexual or nonsexual. City employees must register to be eligible.

CENTRAL PARK COVERS UP Greed has its limits, even in Manhattan. A new blanket policy for concert-goers in Central Park decrees that nobody may reserve space on the Great Lawn larger than . . . a king-size bedspread from Bloomingdale`s. Why the new ground rule? In a borough that permits first dibs as early as dawn of a free Monday concert, some music lovers have gone to great lengths-and breadth-to reserve grassy spots. You know, give `em an inch and they set up a patio. One particularly greedy TV executive went even further: He set out a tarpaulin for 200 guests. ”These space hogs not only took a lot of space, but they took the best space,” said Parks Commissioner Henry Stern, deciding that municipal parenting was necessary. From now on, said Stern: ”You can leave a blanket measuring 86 inches by 106 inches. That`s the largest blanket or bedspread they sell at Bloomingdale`s.” That`s enough to accommodate six friends, he said, unless ”you want to leave room for the brie and chablis.”

MISERY MAKES HIM LAUGH Speaking of parenting. . . . Let movie director Ron Howard tell you how

”Parenthood” was born. It was 1987, somewhere in the clouds. ”I had this really long plane flight where I was surrounded by my kids. One of them threw up on me in the first 45 minutes, and I didn`t have another shirt.” On the same flight, a few feet away, Howard`s twin daughters entered their terrible twos with a vengeance. ”One guy came up to me-he looked terrible, this guy-and he said, `I haven`t slept in four days. Please make them shut up!`

” At that precise moment of harried parenting, said Howard, a father of four, he saw the big picture-and realized that misery loves company.

SHE`S TOO SMALL FOR DIAPERS Just three months ago, Kari Nicole Whitlow was prematurely everything. Weighing just 13.9 ounces at birth, Kari was no taller than a 10-inch Barbie doll and too small even for preemie diapers. Even now, her palm is the size of an adult`s fingernail. ”People laugh at me when I say she`s big; they should have seen her before,” said Tracey Whitlow, who delivered by Caesarian section in her 7th month of pregnancy-six weeks after the fetus mysteriously stopped growing. Now 15 3/4 inches tall and weighing 3 pounds, West Virginia`s tiniest human is home with her parents in Princeton. She`s fragile, but getting stronger. To hold her, observed Tracey Whitlow, ”you have to use two hands now.”

SLIWA`S ANGELS FLIT TO PARIS It`s no creampuff. But as subways go, Paris` Metro could be a four-star experience in riding pleasure for the Guardian Angels, who cut their teeth on rough rails in New York and Chicago.

Four members of the self-appointed protection cadre are riding the Metro all this week at night.

”We`re here to feel the atmosphere, to see if they need us,” said cofounder Lisa Sliwa, noting that Paris subway crime has risen by 21 percent this year.

In their maiden descent Monday at Chatelet, a comparatively rough station, passengers seemed amused. One American shouted, ”Yeah, you do a great job in New York, I tell ya, good luck!”

Parisian Jean-Louis Lebcher said, ”It`s worth a try here, though I haven`t had any trouble myself.”

The transport authority, whose inspectors patrol Metro passages and carriages, did not respond to the Angels` request for a meeting.

”We don`t want to give the impression they aren`t doing good work,”

Sliwa said. ”But there just aren`t enough of them to do the job properly.”

She hinted further European ventures: ”We`ve also gotten letters from people in Milan and Frankfurt and Amsterdam and Madrid. . . .”