Okay, how bad is Hollywood? Ask rock musician Frank Zappa, who lives there but hates it. ”It`s a pretty ugly town. Every time I leave and come back there`s another ugly building, another piece of plastic deforming what used to be an interesting place.” As for drugs, Zappa, 48, says: ”You don`t have to use drugs; I proved that. But if you don`t, people think you`re weird.”
LOVE TRIANGLE TRIUMPHS
This is a family newspaper but. . . . In ”Alien Nation,” a movie spinoff set to debut on TV this September as a series, it requires two alien males to impregnate one alien female. Evidently it`s complicated. Producer Kenneth Johnson told People magazine: ”The aliens have different erogenous zones . . . although `all the parts` fit together.” The aliens say it`s more fun than drinking milk.
WAS BRIGITTE A CUTUP?
Onetime French sex kitten Brigitte Bardot is making headlines again, this time over safe sex. Bardot`s next-door neighbor in reclusive St. Tropez, industrialist Jean-Pierre Manivet, complains that she castrated his pet donkey. Seems that Charly was left in Bardot`s care for a while. But when he made amorous overtures to her pet donkey, Mimosa, well, Charly walks on his tippy hooves now. ”She could have ended up with an adorable little baby donkey,” sighed Manivet, adding that Bardot may hear from his lawyer.
The big mystery: Why the donkeys?
HEY, WE ALL MAKE MISTOOKS
Talk about irreconcilable differences. America`s controversial new ambassador to the Bahamas, ex-Sen. Chic Hecht, left for his new post with mixed messages. Spy magazine says he was among America`s ”10 dumbest congressmen.” Understandably miffed, the former Republican senator from Nevada observed a recent contrary honor: induction into the Army Intelligence Hall of Fame. Moreover, Hecht said he specialized in ”overt” army operations for 18 years. This, he explained, meant ”I was undercover.”
RAINIER: MARRIAGE IS OUT
A new autobiography of Monaco`s Prince Rainier says he`s so haunted by memories of Princess Grace that he`ll never marry again. ”I see Grace wherever I go. Anyway, I couldn`t (marry) because it would be very difficult for my children,” said Rainier, 66, whose wife of 26 years died in a car crash in 1982. In ”Rainier and Grace” by Jeffrey Robinson, the prince also scotched rumors of romance, albeit indelicately, with German-born socialite Ira von Furstenberg. ”We`ve known each other a long time. She`s good company and she`s amusing, but that`s all.”
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SHE`S A GRIDIRON GIRL
The old boy network sure is falling apart in Niles, Mich., where Laura Schaffert`s children are playing ball with new rules. Daughter Sabrina, 11, plays on a boys` school baseball team. Son Andrew, 14, plays on a girls`
softball team. Now another daughter, Tammii, 17, has won permission at Brandywine High School to join the football team. It was the challenge of
”playing against the boys” that attracted her, said Tammii, who holds a black belt in tae kwon do. Said Mom: ”I try not to hold them back from anything.” Superintendent John Carlson said, ”I`m not sure how the boys will react, but times are changing.”