A Valentine`s Day gift to Prince Charles from sculptor Sam Tonkiss obviously was a bust. Charlie, after thanking the proud artiste, inquired,
”By the way, who is it?” A short, shocked silence ensued before Tonkiss replied, ”It`s your wife, sir.”
TURNSTILE ROMANCE It might have been more romantic than Saturday at the supermarket, but surely the Valentine`s Day lines to the plastic altars of Las Vegas tried the patience of even reverent cashiers. Some 1,500 blushing couples (and some not- so-blushing) queued up for quickie marriages in a city that scorns blood tests and overnight waits. Out on the Strip, 250 weddings whipped through Gordon Gust`s Candlelight Wedding Chapel (One was squeezed between commercials on the ”Today Show.”). Gust, who owns four ”chapels” of the turnstile persuasion, recalled one heartwarming ceremony in 1987: ”It was Clayton Moore . . . the Lone Ranger, my childhood hero. He was 73 and she was 45. When I asked about playing the wedding march, Moore said, `No, I`d rather have the William Tell Overture.` ” (His bride-to-be exclaimed, ”Clayton, will you grow up!”)
`WORKING GIRL` IS PG A hot flash: Despite rumors of a Valentine`s Day marriage, Don Johnson and bride-to-be-again Melanie Griffith apparently were not among chapel supplicants in Las Vegas or anywhere else. In quashing the rumor, however, Johnson publicist Elliot Mintz announced that the star of ”Working Girl” is pregnant. Still unknown is the date of the Big Day. Either Big Day, for that matter.
ROSEBUD WHIPS TURNER Film purity prevails-just this once. Colorization czar Ted Turner won`t, after all, apply his crayon to Orson Welles` 1941 classic, ”Citizen Kane.”
Turner`s legal mercenaries are anxious over Welles` contract with RKO Pictures, which implies that consent from Welles` estate is necessary. Presumably delighted by Turner`s retreat is acerbic film critic Pauline Kael, who called the proposed facelift ”particularly loony” and ”an insane form of tampering.”
N.Y. TO REAGAN: UGH! It wasn`t a day to kiss and make up in New York. The state`s Democrat-controlled Assembly rejected, after rancorous debate, a resolution honoring former President Ronald Reagan and wife Nancy for their eight years in the White House. ”He made selfishness the national byword,” complained Assemblyman Anthony Genovesi, whose remarks drew hisses from Republicans. ”He made it legitimate for people to say, `I don`t give a damn. I`m not my brother`s keeper.` ”
A RUNNER`S GREAT WALL Boldly running where no man-nor woman-has run before is Sally Miller Perdue, 50, whose enterprising run along China`s Great Wall will be a trek to behold. The onetime Arkansas beauty queen has persuaded the Chinese government to let her run the wall`s length beginning in August-all 1,500 miles, through desert, mountain and plains. ”I would just like . . . to inspire people to believe in themselves at any age, especially women in my generation,” said Perdue, who will be accompanied by two daughters, Rosemond, 23, and Myra Perdue-Sack, 25.
MUSTANG STOCK RISES The prospectus mentions sexually transmitted diseases, but that won`t stop potential shareholders from joining the nation`s first investor-owned bordello. Yes, the famed Mustang Ranch outside Reno, Nev., is going public. In a $23.3 million stock offering approved by the Securities and Exchange Commission, 1.165 million common shares of Mustang Ranch Inc. are heading for the market. ”In about 30 days, there will be no more Joe Conforte Mustang Ranch,” said owner Joe Conforte, who expects $18 million for the 105-bedroom brothel but figures most of his share will go to reduce the national deficit. ”The U.S. Treasury is going to end up with most of it or all of it,” said Conforte, who was released from prison in 1985 after serving 18 months for tax evasion. ”I owe $12 million to $13 million in taxes and the capital gains are going to be $4 million to $5 million. You figure it out.” (Let`s see, he may have just enough left over. . . . )
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SIGN OF THE TIMES Overheard in Manhattan, a conversation between two 7-year-old boys: ”I found a condom on the patio.” Replied the other boy, ”What`s a patio?”