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My friend was whipping down the expressway at 75 miles an hour, keeping up with the speeding traffic on both sides of him. He was complaining about the lack of ethics in business and government.

”Greed seems to have consumed everybody,” he said. ”Just look at those traders in the commodity pits. They couldn`t leave well enough alone. They were making plenty of money legitimately. Why did they have to skim off their customers?”

”Why don`t you fasten your seat belt?” I said, as he swerved, barely missing a car loaded with a family of four and a cocker spaniel looking wistfully out the window.

”Yeah, there are no ethics in business anymore,” he said. ”It wasn`t too many years ago that everyone worshiped accountants. Now, suddenly, we`re hearing all those stories about how they are signing their names to phony financial statements of companies. If it weren`t for the bloomin` lack of ethics by accountants, we wouldn`t have this savings and loan crisis.”

”Maybe you`re right,” I said, ”but don`t you think tailgating at 75 miles an hour is a little dangerous? Why are all these people going too fast?”

”Nobody has any values anymore,” he went on, without pause. ”Young brokers call me on the phone all the time and want to sell me stuff I happen to know is real junk. Drexel Burnham is plea-bargaining to keep its assets from being frozen by the feds. Insider trading is rampant on Wall Street. The takeover movement is all about greed. Companies are going down the drain simply because their executives want to cash in.”

”Look out,” I said. ”You almost clipped that Mercedes.”

”You know, it`s the `Me Generation,` the Baby Boomers who have become yuppies. They want to live better this instant. All they want is lower taxes and a quick buck. They could care less about the homeless people, people with AIDS and poor people living in the ghettos. The schools don`t teach values, and certainly families don`t anymore. Everybody wants to try to get the advantage over their neighbor.”

”I would recommend that you stop crowding that semi in the next lane. The driver is getting a little testy,” I said.

”Do you know what these traders here in Chicago are saying? They are saying that we couldn`t have these markets here without a little fraud. If traders can`t cheat a little bit, and make a little extra profit, there will be fewer traders coming here trying to make a living. Or so they say. They say there just wouldn`t be as many buyers and sellers, and the markets wouldn`t be as liquid. Can you believe that stuff? No wonder society is going to hell.”

”I didn`t think this car would do 85,” I said.

”But there`s not much difference between legal and illegal fraud in my mind,” he said. ”Take a look at Congress. They`re going to raise their pay by 50 percent for doing absolutely nothing. As a matter of fact, they`re probably going to cut back our benefits while raising their income. And the way they`re doing it is criminal, if not downright unethical. The Senate voted against it the other day, but only because they knew the House wouldn`t kill it. It`s just officially sanctioned fraud, that`s all it is. No wonder traders here in Chicago have no pangs of conscience about cheating.”

”Is this a fuzz-buster?” I said. ”I thought those things were illegal.”

”Not in this state,” he said. ”Our whole society lives on greed, really. Television commercials appeal to it. The budget deficit is nothing more than a reflection of the fact that we are living beyond our means. The deficit hasn`t been much of a political issue because no one wants to give up the privileges it provides.”

”Did you really pay $50,000 for this car?” I asked.

”Fifty-two fifty, and only a 9 percent note,” he said. ”You know, many people in the business community have a double standard. They think it`s all right for the government to be tough with the little guy who commits a crime on the street, but unfair to be tough with those committing white-collar crime. I`ve never heard such whining from the business community, especially in New York and Chicago, about the way the antiracketeering law, or RICO, is being used to tackle fraud. Sure, it`s rough, but it`s no more abusive than the laws they use on people of lower classes. They don`t like it because it`s bad for business, that`s all.”

”There`s a siren behind you,” I said. ”I told you that you were going too fast.”

”Oh, no, it`s an unmarked police car,” he shouted. ”Quick. Lie down on the seat and act like you`re sick so I can tell them I`m driving you to the hospital. And can I borrow your driver`s license? Mine`s expired.”