Carla Sutton of Grand Rapids, Mich., is tired. She`s tired of eating dinners alone, tired of having people feel sorry for her, tired of changing endless diapers. Every Detroit Tigers` victory keeps Sutton at least one more day away from having her husband, Dennis, return home. In a publicity stunt for a local radio outlet, Dennis, the station`s sports director, has been living in a 6-foot-by-10-foot house atop a billboard since Opening Day and has vowed not to return to earth until the Tigers lose. ”I`m going out and buying myself a Milwaukee Brewers` cap,” said Carla prior to Tuesday night`s game, which the Tigers won 2-1 over the Brewers. ”I am definitely ready for Dennis to come home, but with the way the Tigers are playing, things are not looking very good. I`m afraid he might be up there for a long, long time.”
— Legendary ”Kissing Bandit” Morganna Roberts, facing up to six months in jail and a possible $1,000 fine for criminal trespass for running onto the Astrodome field during Houston`s home opener last week, said she wouldn`t look good in prison stripes. ”They make me look top-heavy,” said the buxom striptease artist. ”Stripes make me look large-busted.” Her case was continued until next Tuesday after Harris County Court-at-Law Judge Sherman Ross found some court papers were incorrect and had to be refiled.