If Jennifer Lopez had been as enchanted by ballplayer-turned-analyst and new NBA investor Álex Rodríguez as the people who run ESPN seem to be, J-Rod would still be a thing.
Alas, she is not. So Rodríguez is now romantically uncoupled from Lopez while still firmly entrenched alongside Matt Vasgersian each weekend on “Sunday Night Baseball,” as fans who watched the Chicago Cubs’ 13-4 loss to the visiting Atlanta Braves were all too aware.
Forget kids. It’s A-Rod who says the darnedest things, as you’ll soon see below.
This week’s edition of “SNB” had many of the same things everyone always complains about when it comes to ESPN’s weekly prime-time Major League Baseball showcase.
While it was fun to hear Anthony Rizzo, wearing a microphone, call Freddie Freeman “Fredrick” while chasing Freeman in a rundown, there are still in-game interviews that trivialize action on the field.
Rather than dwell on the negative, let’s just say it’s a great idea to have Chicago White Sox announcer Jason Benetti anchor a secondary Statcast-oriented “Sunday Night Baseball” feed on ESPN2 for next weekend’s Los Angeles Dodgers-San Diego Padres game opposite Vasgersian and Rodríguez on ESPN.
Some will say this alternative is at least a week late.
Had there been another “SNB” feed to watch, however, we would have missed these 15 insights from A-Rod.
They no doubt did: “Cubs want a repeat of (Saturday, when they routed Atlanta). That was a great day for the Cubbies.”
Always consult your caddie: “If I could say one thing (to the Cubs’ Javier Báez) that’s obvious: Put the driver away. Bring the 7-iron, the pitching wedge. Put the driver away till the All-Star Game. No need to ever take a swing like that. You’re so good. You’re so athletic. See ball and hit ball and just think of competing. Easier said than done.”
But how many pitchers throw fastballs? “If they can’t figure how to hit a fastball, it’s going to be a long year … for the Cubbies.”
Forget the fast thing: “You can make a very compelling argument either to break this (Cubs) team up or to build it up and keep going. Right? Is this the end of an era of the 2016 championship and a run of postseasons, or are you in the right division to move forward and say we still have enough talent … let’s give it one more go?”
Just not a pitching clinic: “(Cubs starter Kyle Hendricks is) going to carve you up with (an) 86 mph fastball. He throws a sinker, a four-seamer, a curveball, a change, and he throws everything to all four quadrants of the zone. Tonight, you should watch a clinic.”
No argument here: “That ball (caught by the Braves’ Austin Riley in acrobatic fashion) would have hit me squarely in my head.”
He has a point: “Hitting is contagious and the lack thereof also is contagious, and there’s a lack of discipline (by Báez) at the plate.”
Anthony Rizzo is … Batman: “(He’s) a guy that’s a baseball player, not a guy that’s just going up there trying to hit a ball 7,000 miles or launch angle or any of this nonsense. I mean, he is an old-school baseball player. He’s a Platinum (Glove) winner. He is a Navy SEAL-type character and he’s a guy that you can trust and he’s a guy you want to put resources behind because he’s going to lead the way not only for a team but for an entire city.”
Perfect: “Practice doesn’t make you perfect. Perfect practice makes you perfect.”
Great for whom, exactly? “That’s why baseball’s the greatest game. Here’s a guy, (Joc) Pederson, who’s been outstanding in October, has an unbelievable spring training in Arizona with eight home runs and brings none of that to the Windy City. (He’s) a guy who historically has been a great, not a good but a great fastball hitter and can’t hit anything this season.”
No one has ever said this before: “No matter what the Cubs decide to do: Go build or rebuild or go for it, the one thing they know that is a competitive advantage is they have an incredible stadium and an incredible fan base that will be there — win, lose or draw.”
Or wait till the fat lady sings: “Every time (at) Wrigley as a player, when the wind’s blowing out, no matter what the score is, you want to play all 27 outs, because the game is never over till it’s over.”
25 or 6 to 4: “If you’re the Cubs (trailing the Braves 7-3 with one away in the bottom of the fourth), you’ve got them right where you want them. It’s basically a 4-0 game and you’re at home and the wind’s blowing out. So 7-3 feels like 1-0 or 2-0.”
Cubs fans had no idea: “It is hard to win championships at the big-league level.”
Silly things, you say? “When I look at some of the silly things I did, I just cringe. Like, what was I doing? I guess you do silly things when you’re in your 20s and 30s.”