AN ODE TO . . . EXHAUSTION
It was 9 p.m. and the ''bottom of the Ninth'' as fatigued conductor Lorin Maazel closed out a marathon day of Beethoven with ''Ode to Joy.'' When it was over,...
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AH, THE SPLICE OF LIFE
Her daughter`s wedding reception was a sorry sight. So Rita Lockett did what any modern mom might do with just 8 minutes of memorable video and 4 hours of filmy...
THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST
Zeke Zzyzus has done it again. Determined to remain last in line for Montreal`s telephone directors, he added another Z to his name. Now he`s Zeke Zzzysus, which puts him...
MORE STUFFING, DEAR?
Thanksgiving dinner is a prison sentence for Bonnie Kern. A restaurant chef in Anderson, Ind., she was sentenced to cook a meal Thursday for an indigent family of nine instead...
YES, HIS BELL WAS RUNG
John Berry was hired for noise, but merriment got in the way. Berry, the town crier of Newton Abbot in western England, took to ringing his bell one night-in a...
A SIMIAN SOJOURN
Aping Houdini at the San Diego Zoo is Kumang, an 11-year-old orangutan who delights in making monkeys of her keepers. Kumang escaped and was found climbing in the zoo`s aviary...
GERALDO HOLDS HIS NOSE
Friends of the Fourth Estate cheered when Geraldo Rivera, that selfless impresario of bright lights, butted noses with a chair. But the ''Geraldo'' brawl that did justice to Rivera`s proboscis...
A STRIKE, BUT HE`S SPARED
Likely to avoid bowling for a while is Ronald Martin, 28, of Waterford, Mich., who was rescued by police outside a Pontiac bowling alley-but only after suffering hair loss (in...
CRIMINALS FEAR THIS MAN
Condolences to Gervase Thompson, red-faced sheriff in Juneau County, Wis. It seems that an ex-disk jockey hired by Thompson to woo voters by radio is a fugitive wanted on a...
HIS ADVICE? PLASTICS
A serious credit check on Walter Cavanagh might set computer alarms ringing. Cavanagh, known as ''Mr. Fantastic Plastic,'' holds 1,099 credit cards-an imposing collection that nonetheless is only in its...