Rex W. Huppke – Page 27

President Donald Trump speaks to, from right, Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and state Sen. Dawn Buckingham after arriving in Austin, Texas, on Jan. 19, 2020. Patrick appeared on Fox News on March 24, 2020, and said that he was not only ready for the country and the economy to get moving again amid the coronavirus pandemic, but also that he and other grandparents might be willing to die for that to happen.

Column: Donald Trump’s coronavirus pandemic death cult — everyone’s welcome!

March 26, 2020 at 10:58 a.m.

Howdy, folks! Welcome to President Donald Trump's Coronavirus Pandemic Death-Cult Bandwagon. ALL ABOARD! If you love Trump and don't much care whether people — yourself included — live or die,...

Add an alligator to your moat, if available.

Column: 30 Steps to Surviving the Coronavirus Pandemic From Home (with only a little cannibalism)

March 25, 2020 at 12:23 p.m.

Knowing everyone is going a bit stir crazy sheltering in place to slow the spread of coronavirus, I have assembled a carefully researched list of extremely smart things you and...

Column: Help isolated seniors and people with disabilities during the outbreak — be a #PandemicPal

March 23, 2020 at 6:56 p.m.

While we're all sheltered in place and socially distanced, nervously monitoring the daily rise in coronavirus cases and hoping for the best, even the busiest among us will have some...

President Donald Trump makes a statement to the press after a meeting about the COVID-19 pandemic with nursing industry representatives March 18, 2020, at the White House.

Column: Trump’s coronavirus stimulus checks should come with a nondisclosure agreement

March 19, 2020 at 10:33 a.m.

Donald Trump, our greatest president ever, is making arrangements to combat the economic impact of the coronavirus pandemic by cutting a check to each and every citizen of the America...

Column: Shedd Aquarium penguins offer coronavirus advice to humans: PLEASE STAY IN YOUR ENCLOSURES!

March 18, 2020 at 12:14 p.m.

Video of penguins waddling about the empty Shedd Aquarium rotunda lit up the internet this week, giving Chicagoans and people across the country a brief respite from news of the...

Students head toward Emiliano Zapata Academy school in Chicago's Little Village neighborhood on March 16, 2020. Chicago Public Schools are closing after today and are scheduled to resume March 31.

Column: As coronavirus cancels classes, a modest proposal for keeping kids busy: Hard labor

March 16, 2020 at 11:21 a.m.

Parents able to work from home during the coronavirus pandemic will experience an interesting new wrinkle this week: children. These smaller roommates, because of school closures in Illinois and a...

A woman carries a sanitizer on the street near Times Square on March 10, 2020, in New York City.

Column: Social distancing can slow the spread of coronavirus AND help you avoid annoying human beings

March 14, 2020 at 5:06 p.m.

One of the best things people in Chicago and across the country can do to combat the coronavirus pandemic is "social distancing." It sounds like a new-age ritual you pay...

President Donald Trump addresses the nation about the coronavirus from the Oval Office on March 11, 2020.

Column: Trump’s market-crashing coronavirus address shows we’re in incompetent hands

March 12, 2020 at 11:21 a.m.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I FEEL A LOT BETTER ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC AFTER WATCHING PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP'S ADDRESS TO THE NATION WEDNESDAY NIGHT. HIS COMPASSIONATE AND...

President Donald Trump talks to reporters as Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar, left, and CDC Director Robert Redfield look on at the headquarters of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta on March 6, 2020.

Column: Markets plummet as coronavirus cases climb; Trump will find lies can’t stop a virus

March 9, 2020 at 4:48 p.m.

President Donald Trump will soon find lies don't kill a virus. He can deflect and reassure Americans the novel coronavirus outbreak is "totally under control" until his tweeting fingers are...

<p>- 2019 registration rank: #172 highest of 193 breeds
- Change in rank from previous year: +10 in popularity</p>

<p>According to the American Kennel Club these shaggy dogs are on the endangered dogs list. There are said to be less than 350 of them currently in the United States and roughly 1,000 left worldwide.</p>

Column: Perverted Illinois bald eagle threesome threatens sanctity of marriage. What’s next, hawk orgies?

July 17, 2020 at 12:17 p.m.

By now you've probably heard about the latest relationship trend that threatens the sanctity of our marriages: Pervy bird threesomes. That's right, a trio of Illinois bald eagles — two...

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