Mike Royko

Glancing at my midsection, Slats Grobnik shook his head and said: "You ought to do something about them abs." Them what? "Your abs. Just from a casual observation, I suspect...

The burning, looting, shooting and other unpleasantness in St. Petersburg, Fla., have ended, and now things are taking their predictable course. That means community leaders are talking about healing wounds,...

The people who run the Evanston school system are reported to be scratching their heads over why their white students do so much better in the statewide tests that measure...

Just about every time some TV talk show has a panel on to talk about the latest doings in the creepy life of O.J. Simpson, there is sure to be...

Pierre Salinger has now joined those of us in the news business who have been taken in by something phony from the gossipy world of the Internet. For unlucky Pierre,...

"Semper fi," said Slats Grobnik, "and a happy Veterans Day to you, my fellow defender of truth, justice and the American way." What do you mean, semper fi? That is...

"Maybe you were just kidding about rickshas in Chicago," the man said, "but I'm in the advertising field, and if anyone goes ahead with it, I'd like to handle the...

During a break in the action on Election Day, Dan Rather announced that fewer than half of the nation's eligible voters would cast ballots. And he declared that the low...

When historians try to figure out what this election was all about, this might be remembered as the year when the 1960s finally caught up with the 1990s. That's because...

"So I run into my old precinct captain," said Slats Grobnik. "And he starts to hand me campaign literature telling me why I should vote for some bozo. And I...