Mike Royko

`What would happen," Slats Grobnik asked, "if the bartender in this place went on strike? Would I die of thirst, or even worse, of the shakes?" Of course not. If...

There's only one way to appreciate the full impact of a baseball strike on the true fan. And that is to catch the popular 24-hour sports call-in show on WBAM,...

A male chauvinist would take delight in Shannon Faulkner's distress. Being a more enlightened sort, I offer her understanding and compassion. Ms. Faulkner is the young woman who went to...

Sylvia Bailey wanted sympathy, understanding and advice. That, of course, is why I am here. "I've been on the phone all day with lawyers," said Mrs. Bailey, 38. "But all...

A sadistic friend dropped a piece of advertising on my desk and said: "Here's the perfect gift idea for getting someone really depressed." The ad was for a digital clock...

The first call was from a black policeman who was angry about my views on the controversial police sergeants test. "This column is racist," he said. "You're saying we can't...

In a fine show of indignation, Congressman Bobby Rush and other black leaders want the Justice Department to investigate the Chicago Police Department's test for promotion to sergeant. I support...

Now that O.J. Simpson has his own hot line, I thought about phoning in a suggestion for assuring him a fair trial. That's a major concern-finding an impartial jury that...

A recurring complaint heard during the 25th anniversary commemoration of the first moon walk is that this country has lost the will to explore outer space. Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, who...

If they'll listen, I can save the food nags at the Center for Science in the Public Interest a lot of bother and expense. This is the outfit that first...