An assessment
Date of consultation: Sept. 11, 2013 Patient: America, United States of Age: 237 Consulting physician: United Nations, M.D. Past psychiatric history: Patient experienced traumatic birth in 1776 involving dramatic separation...
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Perspective: Say it ain’t so, Ted
"Say it ain't so, Ted" is the cry that has echoed from coast to coast to coast throughout Canada in the wake of Sen. Ted Cruz's announcement that he plans...
More advice for yet another picket line
A draft memo recovered from a wastebasket in the offices of Donald Fehr, executive director of the National Hockey League Players' Association: To: All members of the NHLPA From: Donald...
Will the true conservative please stand up
As the Republican presidential primary race continues its interminable path, the one recurring question seems to be: Who is the most conservative candidate? Apparently Republicans will no longer tolerate a...
Just don’t call it football
As you probably know, we're in the middle of the World Cup, that quadrennial soccer tournament that seems to get everybody excited. Everybody that is except for us — Americans...
10 handy reminders
Handy reminders for the coming Great Recession: 1. Keep showing up for work until they physically bar your entrance. 2. Incorporate as a bank and seek a modest bailout. 3....
`I am not gay’
Oprah Winfrey and her friend Gayle King want to be clear: They're not gay. "The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with...
Hockey fans make demands
To: Gary Bettman, commissioner, National Hockey League, and Bob Goodenow, executive director, National Hockey League Players Association From: Dave Martin, chief negotiator, National Hockey League Former Fans Association Re: Future...