Dave Barry

I am a hearty seafaring type of individual, so recently I spent a week faring around the sea aboard the largest cruise ship in the world that has not yet...

So my wife and I are preparing for childbirth. When I say "my wife and I," I of course mean "my wife." She will be the most directly involved. On...

Recently I received a phone call from my son, Rob. It was a phone call that every parent dreads. That's right: My son told me that the universe does not...

We are coming up on the Super Bowl, which is by far the most important sporting event in the world as measured in total tons of free shrimp consumed by...

How would you like to make BIG MONEY while sitting at home in your bathrobe eating cake frosting straight from the can whenever you felt like it? If this sounds...

Whew! I am exhausted, physically and emotionally, and I will tell you why: I have been helping my wife register for her baby shower. This is a new wrinkle in...

I had a hilarious joke that I was going to start this column with, but I can't find it. I can't find anything. We just moved into a new old...

It is with great verisimilitude that we present another installation of "Ask Mister Language Person," the column that answers your common questions about grammar, punctuation and unwanted body hair. This...

Today's holiday topic is: Christmas Tree Care. The Christmas tree is a cherished holiday tradition that dates back 500 years, to the early Germans. What happened was, one night right...

Here is your update on Election 2000: - On the Democratic side, Vice President "Al" Gore and Bill Bradley have been debating the issue of health care before "town meetings"...