DON’T HAVE TO BE A ROCKET SCIENTIST TO BE AN AMERICAN
What is your "Science IQ"? To find out, take this multiple-choice quiz: 1. Tides are caused by: (a) Gravity leaking out of the moon. (b) Clams burping in unison. (c)...
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A BONA FIDE NOTARY WHO IS JUST ITCHING TO GO PUBLIC
June is almost here, and once again I'm looking to perform a wedding ceremony. I can legally do this in Florida because I happen to be-this is true-a notary public....
AS THE OLD SAYING DOESN’T GO: DON’T SAY IT WITH MUSIC
Recently several alert readers sent me a news item from The Houston Chronicle that struck a responsive chord in the upright piano of my brain. The item begins as follows:...
EDUCATIONAL EXHIBIT OR DISGUSTING DISPLAY? YOU BE THE JUDGE
Summer vacation is almost here: Soon it will be time for you parents to pile the kids into the car, show them how to work the ignition key, then watch...
WHEN IT COMES TO TOILETS, U.S. TAKES A BACK SEAT TO NO ONE
When we try to name the one thing that makes America great, we are forced to conclude that the answer is "quality of life," defined as "working toilets." We are...
`IF YOU HATE CALLING LARGE COMPANIES, PRESS THIS HEADLINE NOW’
TODAY'S CONSUMER TOPIC IS: How to resolve a dispute with a large company. If you're a typical consumer-defined as "a consumer whose mail consists mainly of offers for credit cards...
IN ENGLAND, USE THE RIGHT FORK AND TRY NOT TO GET BOMBED
Recently I went to England on a selfless humanitarian mission to sell books. It was a very relaxing trip until about 35 minutes after the plane landed at Heathrow Airport,...
HOW THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST TURN INTO THE WORST AND DUMBEST
I see by the newspapers that solid progress is being made by the failed Clinton administration, which has finally moved beyond the Bumbling Around Cluelessly Phase and is now deep...
TAX TIPS THAT ARE SURE TO LEAD YOU DOWN THE AUDIT TRAIL
Today I am pleased to present the results of the Amateur Tax Tips contest, in which I asked readers to submit their tax-preparation tips on postal cards and send them...
THE FREE WORLD’S DORKIEST DAD DOES HIMSELF PROUD
"Rob," I said to my 13-year-old son, who was-this being a school morning-sleeping face down in his breakfast, "how would you like it if I picked you up at school...